Vulnerability.

WWW.TheDavidAlliance.com

7-29-19 Monday

 

TODAY I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT… THE ABILITY TO 

Looking stupid asking stupid questions

Be willing to answer the awkward and deep questions in life

Admitting mistakes before being asked to 

Listen beyond the impulse to defend yourself

Tap into deeply Feeling what the other person is saying

Be willing to look foolish

Ask people to call you on your stuff when you come across as a know it all

Do things that you are bad at with other men

…you know - all the things we suck at as men! 

 

 

TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com

 

T shirt order - Lonnie you get yours today! But if you ordered or want to order- just shoot me an email or FB me. 

 

Shout out to Brian in AZ

 

Today let’s talk about vulnerability.

NOT ACCOUNTABILITY… 

I have been in accountability groups that were stupid and a waste of time because no one was vulnerable. 

 

I got spoiled in my first accountability group with Tom and Joe.

 

 

Mark 8:26-28

Jesus was vulnerable when he asked the disciples who do men say I am.

AND THEN… EVEN MORE INTIMATE AND VULNERABLE…

who do you think I am?

 

Jesus would know if they were lying! 

 

Have you ever asked your wife “how am I doing as a husband?”

 

 

Vulnerability is really a test of trust. When you can build trust you can build intimacy, when you build intimacy you can really get things done… in a marriage, work, your faith walk… everywhere. 

And ultimately things get done in YOU! 

 

Vulnerability has it’s advantages:

Greater personal Cooperation

Greater team work and accomplishment

Better creativity and problem solving

Greater sense of accomplishment

Tap into more gifts and strengths of others 

Greater group think

Deep seated loyalty

*how would you like these at work?

*how would you like these in your marriage or relationships?

*how would you like these with your kids?

 

I would dare you to read the gospels and watch how Jesus interacted with the disciples to bring about these qualities, and how they continued in them through out their life and ministry after Christ resurrected. 

 

You have to ask questions and be willing to answer questions honestly. 

 

So… Are you willing to change your life? Are you willing to become vulnerable?

Go ask your wife “how am I doing as your husband?”

How am I doing as a father?

How am I doing as a provider? 

Be willing to tell her “I have always felt I need to work on_______________.

If you are not married tell a significant other or close friend… one thing that worries me about getting married is?

OR tell them “I seem to somewhat sabotage relationships with my tendency to________________. 

Tell someone you love deeply “I continue to feel Gods conviction in the area of_______________.

 

 

Ask your boss: How am I doing as an employee? 

How can I improve in my work performance?

How do others see me here at work?

Be willing to tell him “I need to improve in this area_________________.

 

Ask your pastor or strong Christian brother How am I doing as a follower of Christ?

Where am I failing as a part of the body of Christ?

What should I work on that you see that I might not see?

 

 

Attached to todays podcast is a set of 36 questions from social psychology researcher Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Stony Brook University in New York.

 

 

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."

26. Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them. Be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.