I went for a job interview at IKEA.
The manager said: “Come in, make a seat.”
I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.
When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?
Spring is here!
I got so excited I wet my plants.
Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
I went to a bookstore and saw a book titled "How to solve 50% of your problems".
I bought 2.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the 'P' is silent.
An elderly woman in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He responded, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
Why did the dad joke cross the road?
To get to the other sigh.
Luke 1
1 Inasmuch as many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the things that have been accomplished among us,
2 just as those who from the beginning were eyewitnesses and ministers of the word have delivered them to us,
3 it seemed good to me also, having followed all things closely for some time past, to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus,
4 that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught.
5 In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah, of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth.
6 And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.
7 But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.
8 Now while he was serving as priest before God when his division was on duty,
9 according to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense.
10 And the whole multitude of the people were praying outside at the hour of incense.
11 And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense.
12 And Zechariah was troubled when he saw him, and fear fell upon him.
13 But the angel said to him, “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John.
They had no child BECAUSE ______________.
John 9:2 — Jesus’ followers asked him, “Teacher, why was this man born blind? Whose sin made it happen? Was it his own sin or that of his parents?”
Have you ever wondered why?
I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against The Rock of Ages.
— Charles Spurgeon
Both: The one as well as the other.
75%
Philippians 2
14 Do everything without complaining or arguing
15 so that you will be blameless and pure, children of God without any fault. But you are living with evil people all around you, who have lost their sense of what is right. Among those people you shine like lights in a dark world,
16 and you offer them the teaching that gives life. So I can be proud of you when Christ comes again. You will show that my work was not wasted—that I ran in the race and won.
What is trying to stop you from serving?
Don’t stop serving the Lord.
In 2021…there was _____________________.
