”People’s Death Affects Us More than We are Imagine” Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? with Dr. Rosie Kuhn, #185

People's Death Affects Us More than We Imagine

We are affected by people’s departure more than we know. We are often surprised, even though we know that everybody dies. And often we experience regrets and guilt for not engaging with the deceased more while they were alive.

Anytime I hear about someone’s passing I’m moved to experience the reality that every one of us dies. Compassion, reverence, and significance of each person’s presence on this planet brings a moment of awareness if you will. It brings emotions and thoughts, grief, regrets, sometimes anger, and feelings of powerlessness. Even though I hadn’t really been connected with Virginia for the past four years, I still experienced regret that I hadn’t connected with her. In a previous podcast I mentioned others who experienced guilt for not connecting and participating more in the other person’s life.

It's a fascinating process - living with dying. Living with other's dying and our own dying. Each of us do it our own way, with most of us living in denial, distraction, ignorance and avoidance of the whole issue until none of that works any more.

When I got the call that my friend Virginia had died, and that I was on her list of alternatives to the person put in charge of her affairs, I didn't know how to respond. If told that I'd have to act on her behalf, making funeral arrangements and the like, I wouldn't know where to start. I thought of all the people who face the death of their loved ones and have to immediately put their grief on hold and get everything in place, from calling people, getting the body moved, cremation or burial arrangements - way too much for someone who is in grief. Hell! Like I said, I wouldn't have known where to start with Virginia if I had to step in, and I had very little emotional involvement with her at the end.

This put me on the path of researching, "What to do when people die." And I found information that fascinated me, like, did you know you can have home funerals and totally bypass funeral homes? 

So people's deaths affect us in all sorts of ways. Aging like a guru allows us to think about death as part of life. And perhaps dying like a guru is part of this path (Yes, this is to be my next book!). Engaging in life fully, bypassing the fear and angst that interferes with living with every aspect of life - including death, is what we are here to do, only if we wish to. We all do life and death differently. There is no right way!

 

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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com

 

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