Are you questioning a relationship or marriage?
*I find one of the most common reasons for cold feet, or fear of the commitment that comes with marriage is because it challenges our unconscious values.
*One of the most significant values for men is Freedom. We might view marriage as a challenge to our freedom. We naturally will frame it as Commitment VS. Freedom.
As men, we naturally associate commitment with the meaning of sacrifice.
Sacrificing the freedom of time, values, beliefs, to mo...
Are you questioning a relationship or marriage?
*I find one of the most common reasons for cold feet, or fear of the commitment that comes with marriage is because it challenges our unconscious values.
*One of the most significant values for men is Freedom. We might view marriage as a challenge to our freedom. We naturally will frame it as Commitment VS. Freedom.
As men, we naturally associate commitment with the meaning of sacrifice.
Sacrificing the freedom of time, values, beliefs, to move around, etc.. whatever freedom means to you.
Commitment doesn’t need to be a negative thing!
You can commit to working through differences in values, beliefs, and time.
You can re-frame what commitment means to you. Rather than viewing it as a SACRIFICE, it can mean being committed to figuring it out. Meaning you get what you want, and your partner gets what they want.
*Is your core essence masculine or feminine?
Masculine= Freedom/ a mission/purpose
Feminine= Connection /love / relationships
Understanding this can help you work together with your partner in order to ensure both core desires are met.
*An important note to digest: You will need to figure out who you are BEFORE getting into a relationship for the rest of your life. Although this can be very frightening it is necessary.
Don’t operate from a place of masking your true essence. It's important to express your true masculine/feminine qualities. Authenticity will save your relationship and it is NECESSARY before getting married.
*You can’t authentically commit without knowing who and what you are committing to.
A ring won’t change this, a house won’t change this, a dog won’t change this, and kids certainly won’t change this. They will only exacerbate unresolved issues.
These items can act as a very fun band-aid solution, but eventually, the truth will surface.
*One thing you SHOULD know how to do is to understand the process of resolving conflict and understand the process to initiate change.
This can be a challenging process if you are not experienced in it. Many times it’s necessary to seek help and advice to navigate these territories.
Eventually, your life circumstances will change, and you should know how to navigate these changes together.
*I will share my personal story on what changed for Jess and I to be prepared for marriage… We had a lot to resolve and unpack before we were prepared to commit to marriage.
If you have any questions, want to connect, or want to work with me, I'd love to hear from you. Send me an email to,
coaching@joelmahe.ca
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joel.mahe.5
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joelmahe/?hl=en
Enjoy the episode!
Joel
