#319 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 5 of 6

"Silencing the advice giver: If you want to share news or a personal dilemma with a pal, relative, or colleague who is often quick to give you their unsolicited opinion, you can set them up for success by starting with a qualifier, such as: “I have a situation I want to share with you. Can you just listen with compassion, please?” “I want to share what is going on for me and ask that you simply listen without offering advice or criticism. I’d really appreciate that.” If you don’t preface the conversation with your desire, either because you forgot or it feels too confronting, you can halt any auto-advice (cuz you know it’s coming) with: “At the moment, I’m not looking for feedback. I would love it if you could just lend a compassionate ear.” In relationships, especially romantic ones, where the other party has a well-established fixer role, you may want to offer more context about what you’re striving for: “I love that you are always game to help me out. What I’d appreciate right now is for you to listen and have faith that I’ll come to the answer on my own.” - Terri Cole