Episode 45
We’re already on episode 45 and I can’t believe I haven’t delved deeper into the subject of ego yet. Ego is a recurring and underlying theme in pretty much all of the Success Sensei podcasts. Last week I talked about instant gratification so this is the perfect follow on subject. The fact that I’m writing about egotism should give my detractors a good laugh!
Let’s start at the beginning. We all have egos. We all have a healthy ego and an unhealthy ego. When I say healthy a...
Episode 45
We’re already on episode 45 and I can’t believe I haven’t delved deeper into the subject of ego yet. Ego is a recurring and underlying theme in pretty much all of the Success Sensei podcasts. Last week I talked about instant gratification so this is the perfect follow on subject. The fact that I’m writing about egotism should give my detractors a good laugh!
Let’s start at the beginning. We all have egos. We all have a healthy ego and an unhealthy ego. When I say healthy and unhealthy, I’m mainly talking about your own ego in relation to your own mental health. However, your ego could also have an impact on the mental health of others. Some people have more of an unhealthy ego then a healthy one. We can all afford to give ourselves a little ego audit to make sure that we are making the best choices in life.
The ego is defined as your sense of self. It’s what you think about yourself, your opinion of who you are. It may not match the reality. Your ego is made up of self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-conceit, self-image and self-confidence. Too much ego, especially if unmanaged, can be a negative thing. Too little ego could mean a lack of motivation or determination towards your goals.
Here’s a brief list to help clarify between the two.
Unhealthy Ego versus Healthy Ego
Defensive & reactive Optimistic & grateful
Unwilling to listen Understands different views
Believes others are the problem Believes in self-improvement
Hates change Embraces change
Blames others Accepts responsibility
Uses unhealthy escapism Has healthy coping mechanisms
Manipulative Understanding & helpful
Avoids stress, fear, nerves Knows the cost to succeed
Makes everything about them Freely compliments others
Sense of entitlement Hard work ethic
Secretly competitive Genuinely delighted for others
Bends the truth Truthful
Inability to say sorry Apologises when necessary
I’m sure there are many more that could be added but you get the gist of it. Don’t panic if you can identify with some of the negative ones. Welcome to being human. Truth be told, we’ve probably all hit each and every one of the above at some stage in our lives.
Feel free to look stupid
The fear of looking foolish is a fear that can single-handedly prevent you from success. Your unhealthy ego doesn’t want you to make mistakes. The top fighters in the World have a bigger fear of looking stupid than they do of losing or getting hurt. That’s how strong that fear can be so do your best to let that fear go. We all look stupid from time to time so there’s no point in letting that hold you back. I’ve witnessed many fighters losing because they were more concerned about looking good (or not looking stupid) than winning. Showing off to try to look like a fighter is a mind-set that can prevent a novice fighter from focusing on the task at hand (winning). Unhealthy ego can easily be spotted in the fighting/competitive/martial arts environment. Being afraid to look stupid will hold you back from every new venture.
Can I let you know something that might help with the urge to keep up appearances? People don’t have anywhere near the interest in you and your life that you may be worried they do. None of us are that interesting. Not taking action because you are worried about being judged is holding you back from your best life. Live your own life and base your decisions on how you feel and not on how you think your actions will be perceived by people you aren’t close to anyway.
Everyone is the centre of their own universe and it’s easy to believe the World revolves around you. After all, you’ve never lived anyone else’s life. Everyone thinks their struggles are harder than others. Everyone thinks that their time is more important than other people’s time. Everyone feels that they deserve more than everyone else. Now that you know everyone can feel these things, it is up to you to manage these thoughts as best you can. You can’t remove or transcend ego, that’s impossible, but you can attempt to swop an unhealthy ego with a healthier one.
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By Roundhouse Rob, The Success Sensei
Robert Devane is a serial entrepreneur and experienced investor as well as a former martial arts multiple World champion and professional MMA fighter with over 20 years of coaching experience.
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