LFPWLI, From Disgust to Dignity: Letting Go of Self-Loathing

From Disgust to Dignity: Letting Go of Self-Loathing with Bob Fabey

In this episode, Mathew, Dr. Frank, and Bob discuss what the Dignity Gap is, how the industrial revolution and the pandemic widened the gap, and why communication is the key to closing the gap. Bob outlines Position vs. Interests, Intent vs. Impact, and the power of noticing, naming, and addressing emotions in being able to communicate effectively and treat all people with dignity.

 

TAP (thoughts, actions, and practices) is a shorthand to remember that negative thoughts quickly turn into actions and impact our daily practices, and having some set of rules to live by or a relationship to honor is helpful to give guidance through life, whether found through religion or not. Bob tells us about the two different kinds of disgust and how they impact relationships with our coworkers, our families, and ourselves. Finding dignity and pulling yourself out of self-loathing isn't always as easy as it seems it should be. Sometimes stepping into action before you feel like it is the act of courage needed to push through and make it to the other side.

Bob Fabey is the founder of Fabey Insights, a trainer, coach, and author of the newly released book, The Dignity Gap. He lives in Arizona and has two grown kids with his college sweetheart, Amy. Bob's father was a Special Operations Vietnam veteran who came from an abusive home. Bob's family didn't know what PTSD was, but they were dealing with it nonetheless. While Bob was navigating that home, he was also being bullied at school. He tells us this led to a hatred that became internalized and manifested in self-loathing and disgust. Bob has also suffered from migraines his whole life, and that became another thing that led him to believe something was wrong with him, compounding the feelings of helplessness and hate. To deal with this disgust, he drank and did anything else he thought might shut those feelings out, to no avail. It wasn't until college that he got serious about his faith and pursued a relationship with Christ. Bob talks about the difference between identity and behavior and how, through his journey into Christianity, his identity and sense of what is true changed. Today, Bob has been in ministry for nearly 30 years, earned his master's degree in divinity, and is passionate about helping everyone understand they do have value, no matter what.

"I have to handle my own business so I can be present for others."

In this episode, you'll hear:

• The different ways disgust can manifest
• What is "self-loathing"?
• The moment of clarity when Bob stopped hating himself
• The difference between identity and behavior
• The impact of not treating each other with dignity on corporate America
• How Bob helps people close the dignity gap
• How Bob’s lessons transfer from our workplaces to our personal lives
• How do you serve other people while still serving yourself?
• How did 2020 shift our sense of autonomy, and what kind of impact has that had on society?
• What does it mean to have value?

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 
• Listen on iHeart (link: https://ihr.fm/3MEY7FM) 
• Listen on Spotify (Link: https://spoti.fi/3yMmQCE) 

 

Resources:

• Nate’s Breaks
• Fabey Insights
• The Dignity Gap

Connect with the Guests:

• Dr. Frank Bevacqua
• Bob Fabey Instagram
• Bob Fabey Facebook

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades
• Instagram - instagram.com/MathewBladesmedia/ 
• Facebook - facebook.com/mathewbladesmedia/ 
• Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/

 

Additional Credits:

• LFPWLI is managed by Sam Robertson