185. People Pleasing Makes You Explode. The Primal Pain of Rejection

In this episode, I'm turning detective on a fresh perspective on people pleasing and its surprising knock-on effects. You might know that constantly trying to please others stems from a fear of rejection, which, incredibly, activates the same parts of your brain as physical pain. But have you considered how this habit can lead to feeling silently annoyed, then angry, and ultimately to losing your temper out of the frustration of not being your full authentic self?

Join me as I explore this cycle, share insights from my book (you get a whole chapter) "The Mystery of the Squashed Self", and offer some initial thoughts on how to worry less about being liked. Some good reframes to try!

I reference loads of good books for you to explore more!

Not Nice - Dr Aziz Gazipura 

The Courage to be Disliked - Kishimi and Koga

Myth of the Nice Girl - Fran Hauser

Go For No - Andrea Waltz and Richard Fenton

Insight - Tasha Eurich

The Mystery of the Squashed Self - Trisha Lewis

 

I also refer to Michael Port and Aesop! 

 

Want to explore 'people pleasing' a little more?

Head to episodes: 182 and 167

 

Links to more unsquashing resources - including some tests you can have a bit of fun with - head to my resources page at trishalewis.com