Episode#85- Training Wheels

2021-11-22

Training wheels is a concept I came up with, to explain how you may need a little extra support during times of high stress or pain. And that's ok! When you are in extreme conditions, there are things you may do to calm your nervous system, that are different than what you might do when you are in a neutral state. AND if you do some of these comforting things, it ends up way worse if you then beat yourself up, or feel bad you aren't doing all of the "right" things for healing. Maybe you worked extra ...

Training wheels is a concept I came up with, to explain how you may need a little extra support during times of high stress or pain.

And that's ok!

When you are in extreme conditions, there are things you may do to calm your nervous system, that are different than what you might do when you are in a neutral state.

AND if you do some of these comforting things, it ends up way worse if you then beat yourself up, or feel bad you aren't doing all of the "right" things for healing.

Maybe you worked extra and had a stressful week. You might not have meditated or journaled. Or you may have a go-to strategy for feeling better like having a drink or binging on Netflix.

Maybe you have a medication you take when the pain is really bad.

Even if you're doing this work and know strategies to decrease pain, there are times that you aren't in a mental state to do thought work or process emotions.

If you then beat yourself up for "not doing things right", you add so much more pain to an already difficult situation!

I view these comforting activities you choose in a time of high stress or pain, as a child who needs extra support with training wheels while learning to ride a bike.

It's neutral, and it doesn't predict the future of that kid being able to ride without training wheels some day.

Even if the comforting behavior is one you eventually want to change, the best way to change the habit is to accept yourself where you are. (Radical Self Acceptance)

Listen more for this counter-intuitive, but compassionate approach.

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