"Letting Go Requires No Sacrifice" Aging Like a Guru - Who Me? with Dr. Rosie Kuhn, Podcast #138
Mike and Carol are in their 80’s. They realize that it’s time for them to downsize and find a home that is smaller with no stairs if possible. They’ve begun purging their home of what they know no longer fits in their lives. However, there is so much to consider that it all becomes overwhelming. I know people in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s that can also be overwhelmed with this process of letting go.
Carol and Mike live in a four bedroom home with an office and studio space. Carol says, “We don’t know where we are going or how big our new home will be. I can’t let go of anything until I know what I’ll need to take to fill the new space.” With the knowing that Mike and Carol’s intention is to downsize to a two bedroom home, I gently nudged her, “Carol, since you’ll be downsizing to a two bedroom home, will you need all the bedding, towels and furniture for four bedrooms?” “Oh,” she says, "Just saying that helps a lot! I can let go of what’s in the two extra bedrooms - the dressers and the beds. I just have to choose to let go of what I no longer want.”
In this conversation, Carol and Mike were exploring possibilities of homes and the environment that they are open to. They plan on staying in the same town, they’d like to rent, but would consider a tiny home or trailer if they found the perfect fit. By the way, they’ve always found the perfect fit in the past - why would this be any different?
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The intention of this podcast is to share how much easier it is to let go of what no longer works for us when we focus on our truest intent. By staying true to the trajectory of our highest desire - our focused intent, we come to realize that there is no sacrifice in letting go of what no longer fits in this new manifestation of life.
This is a great spiritual principle: There is no sacrifice required to have what you truly desire. And it soooo goes against the views of our consensus reality.
Choosing to downsize, in service to a specific goal, requires that the intention or commitment to that specific goal is stronger than the attachment to “stuff.”
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Cranston, an artist friend in Florida told me recently, “I used to sell my paintings for thousands of dollars. Now, because I’m moving to Hawaii in a few months, I’m giving my paintings away. It feels insane, but I can’t take them with me. I’m okay with giving them away, it just feels a bit crazy!”
The craziness that Cranston is feeling is because, like Mike and Carol, he's dealing with the attachment to all the interpretations that are attached to his “stuff.” This is probably the most challenging aspect of letting go of what we no longer require, if we are to move on to the life we are intending for ourselves.
The meaning we make about stuff creates tendrils of emotional attachments that make letting go of anything even more difficult than is necessary. When Cranston remembers his intention to be in Hawaii with a simpler lifestyle, that becomes the most important thing, and his attachment to what used to be true about his paintings fades into less and less significance.
Regardless of a person’s age, each of us goes through numerous transitions in our lives. Whether it’s career, home, partnership, financial, we often face moments when we have to choose to shift what we make significant in our lives and what inevitably needs to become less significant. The process engages us in a letting go of not only physical stuff but emotional and mental stuff too. It isn’t unlikely that one will be pulled into deep emotional experiences, way beyond what they imagined would happen, and they intentionally move in the direction of their heart’s desire.
So, not only is there a purging of a house full of furniture, or paintings, it’s purging thoughts, feelings and body sensations all tied to how we perceive life and ourselves in this life. It’s big work!
Commonly, we underestimate all of what is occurring within us as we shift, change, grow, emerge or unfold into the life ahead of us. Rarely do we consider that even with great abundance and rewards comes emotional and cognitive release. We might find ourselves in need of naps, or times of going to bed earlier or getting up later. We might find ourselves feeling confused and uncertain about what we say we want. It isn’t uncommon for this purging process to pull up memories or beliefs that have been lingering behind curtains. All of this is just part of being an evolving human.
Regardless of our aging, our capacity to quiet our minds and attend to our bodies and our spirit will bring about an easier transition to where you’ve aligned yourself to be. Allowing yourself to let go of doing, and just be you in the midst of this moment, now, will allow you a sense of a greater capacity to enjoy life now, in this moment.
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For more blogs, books and videos, or if you are interesting in coaching or training with Dr. Rosie, check out her website: www.theparadigmshifts.com
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