In this episode we dive into the intricacies of communication in sales and leadership. Brian Hendricks, a seasoned performance coach and best-selling author, who shares his expertise on team development, communication, and leadership. They delve into understanding communication styles, the DISC and Social Styles assessments, the significance of 360-degree assessment, and its impact on effective leadership. Don't miss this enlightening conversation on improving communication and effectiveness in...
In this episode we dive into the intricacies of communication in sales and leadership. Brian Hendricks, a seasoned performance coach and best-selling author, who shares his expertise on team development, communication, and leadership. They delve into understanding communication styles, the DISC and Social Styles assessments, the significance of 360-degree assessment, and its impact on effective leadership. Don't miss this enlightening conversation on improving communication and effectiveness in sales.
Contact Brian –
Website - www.dynamicdevelopments.net
E-mail Brian - BrianHendricks@dynamicdevelopments.net
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dynamic.developments/
Special Thank you to our Sponsor Genhead – www.genhead.com
Robb Conlon – Intro and outro – Westport Studio - https://www.westportstudiosllc.com/
The Brave Ones – Instrumental Version Song by Jan Sanejko - https://artlist.io/royalty-free-music/song/the-brave-ones/119489
Leighann Lovely: Welcome to another episode of Love Your Sales. I am joined today by Brian Hendricks. He is the CEO of Dynamic Developments, a performance coach and bestselling author of The Communicator's Playbook. He is dedicated to transforming leaders into effective communicators. He specializes in team focused, client focused, and organizational focused development and empowers leaders and teams to reach their full [00:02:00] potential. He has a master's degree in leadership and counseling. He is married and has three children, all six and under.
Brian Hendricks: The Hendricks house is not boring.
Leighann Lovely: Yes. So welcome. I am very excited to have you join me today.
Brian Hendricks: Yeah. Thank you for having me. I appreciate the opportunity to get up here and talk about kind of communications, but from a sales aspect, which
Leighann Lovely: is really cool. Well, and, and so much, um, there's so many companies that forget, um, and which is why I'm wildly excited to talk to you. So many communication or so many companies forget that the lack of communication sets their individuals.
Uh, for failure right from the get go, if they are not focusing on the importance of how that communication flows, not only verbally, verbally, but also in writing or however they choose to do that. [00:03:00] So why don't we start with where you start when you're working with an organization on that effective communication piece?
Brian Hendricks: Yeah. So, uh, for us, we develop a process that's called the RQ process. And really it's a way to. communicate out exactly what I need from a leadership standpoint, but to make sure that the person is actually hearing what I want them to hear. Because so many times, you know, uh, I've talked to whether it's a CEO or it's the VP of sales or whoever they say, I told this person a million times, you know, a million times I said it and they gave me the head nod.
Everyone knows the universal sign for, I understand is the head nod. And then that team member goes out. And completely bumps or forgets everything and so many times leadership or leaders have said, well, that's on them like, no, no, no, that's on you. That's on you. The sales leader, the VP of sales, the whoever it is, that's on you because you didn't check to make [00:04:00] sure that they understood because you didn't adjust your communication approach.
to what their style is and to what their knowledge level. So for us, this is where this idea of our cubing comes in. And, and the first piece, the first R is to rethink. Okay. And you have to rethink what you're going into. What am I trying to get out of the situation? What am I trying to teach this person?
Um, is this going to be a positive or negative conversation? So there's all these different thoughts that go into, you know, any training. Scenario, anytime I'm dealing with a client, it's okay. I need to stop and put away my preconceived notions. I can take my, uh, I always do four to four breathing. There's box breathing and just take those deep breaths before you go into that conversation and really rethink your thoughts.
Okay. Like regroup, regroup everything together, regroup all of those thoughts together. So that's that first time I said, rethink, I meant regroup because I was jumping to the thought. So, so regroup is that first one. Then you have to go [00:05:00] in and, and start to actually reorganize three specific things and all communication comes down to is your words, your tone, and your body language.
And that's what you have to start reorganizing and you have to start reorganizing it based on what that other person needs. And I'll get to how we figure that out in a second, but it's all based on how, you know, when I'm talking to you, do I need to pick up that pace in my work, in my tone? Do I need to slow it down?
Do I need to get bigger because you're a confident person? Do I need to just be more relaxed because you're more relaxed? Like trying to reorganize my words, my tone by my body language. And the last piece where I really want to get into, you know, today from a communication standpoint is actually re delivering that message and actually communicating it out.
Um, and I think so many times people focus on re delivering that message based on someone's communication style. And you can figure out communication style based on, you know, disc training, social styles is, is my all time favorite Myers Briggs, um, insights discovery. I mean, [00:06:00] all of those can come out with what does that other person, like, what is their style and how do I adjust to that?
Right.
Leighann Lovely: And I was going to ask you, you know, there's a lot of, and I've, I've met people who will write out before I've even had the chance to, you know, sit down and have a discovery or have a, Do my pitch. They'll say, Hey, by the way, I'm a high D or I'm a, I'm a high C. And I'm like, wow, that makes my way
Brian Hendricks: much easier.
Leighann Lovely: Yeah. I'm like, okay, now I know exactly how to deliver the information, but the majority of the population don't go, Hey, Brian, before we talk, I just want you to know. I'm a high, whatever,
Brian Hendricks: I'm an expressive, like, so please treat me this way. Right, right. Absolutely. And I think that's where, when you, that's where you have to, you know, either invest in yourself or have an owner of a company invest into social [00:07:00] styles, into disc, into insights, because most people aren't going to jump in and be like, Hey, I'm an expressive.
So now I know, all right, I'm going to make eye contact with Brian. I'm going to use my hands. I'm going to do all these things to make Brian comfortable. That's not how most people are. Right. Once you're trained in this stuff. You can watch and observe other's behavior and start realizing, all right, they're not making eye contact with me here.
They're being a little bit more monotone and they're really focusing on facts and details. I bet you any money that person's an analytical. So Brian, the expressive, I'm not coming into that sales pitch or, you know, if I'm training someone on, on sales, I'm not coming in and being all rah, rah, excited because that person's shutting down right away.
What Brian, the expressive is going to do is I'm going to tone down that expressiveness. I'm going to slow down my rate of speech. I'm going to make sure that I take you step by step by step and give you more facts and more details than what I would probably like. But that's what [00:08:00] you need because you're that analytical stuff.
Right. And it's all about making those slight adjustments to make that other person feel comfortable.
Leighann Lovely: Right. And that's while the, you know, if you were to come at me with all these facts and, and, and again, I, you know, personally, I'm a high I, high D, I. Which I have to battle on a regular basis, um, because there are a lot of people out there are like, well, well, I can't, she's too much, um, which I, you know, I regularly have to try to taper down, um, you know, for, uh, I, I, Variety of reasons, but if I'm trying to explain something, especially my, my husband, you know, he's like, give me the short and skinny facts.
How is this going to get me to point A to point B to point C? Like, he just wants to know the factual information on how to get. So if. I'm a sales leader trying to [00:09:00] train somebody new and I come in with my rah, rah, okay, I'm going to, all that information I'm going to assume is going to just go over their head and they're going to be like, I'm way overwhelmed.
I heard pretty much nothing from, after the first. 30 seconds of them being in my face trying to rally me up. Am I getting that
Brian Hendricks: right? A hundred percent. And I'd say the exact opposite is true. You know, if you're more on that expressive side or that high eye side and you have a, you know, you as a sales leader has, has this new employee and you come in and you just take them through, you know, your operating procedures, you take them through step by step by step and you go through all just the details, but you're not checking in on them.
Hey, how's it going? You're not, you're not being excited about it. That expressive or that high eye is going to shut down because now all you've given me is details You're not connecting it to a bigger picture a bigger goal, which is what drives those eyes And so it goes either way. I mean in with the [00:10:00] D's D's and S's polar opposites So that's one of the things that I think gets missed a lot is it's great to know who you are But it's better to know what your team is and what your sales people are so that I can get my message across best to you, best to her, best to him.
It's gotta be the same message, but I'm gonna have to communicate it differently because each of you need a different thing.
Leighann Lovely: Very interesting. Wildly interesting because now I, now I'm going to pose a question. So what happens if you're onboarding three people at the same time? Three. I'm holding, I'm holding up four fingers, three, three people.
No. So what happens if you're onboarding three people and they're on complete opposite spectrums, personality, you know, what their needs, what their desires, what their drivers are?
Brian Hendricks: Yeah, absolutely. And this is a process that we created. It's called the dynamic communication process. Um, and this is how you handle that.
Because a lot of times when you're doing sales training, [00:11:00] when you're, when you're doing it, we'll take it even further when you're pitching to people, a lot of times you're pitching to more than one person. Right. So you have to get your message across. What we've seen is traditionally how it's gone is here's what we're doing.
Here's how we're going to do it. Whether it's training, whether it's pitching, it's like, Hey, here's what we can do for you. Here's how we're going to get it done. Well, if you stop at that. And all the data kind of shows you're going to hit about 50 percent of the population because 50 percent of the population, they want the bottom line.
What do you want from me? Or sorry, 25 percent of population wants the bottom line about 25 percent wants those details. So here's what happens. Here's how we get it done. You're not answering any other questions for those other 50 percent for those people that are known as, you know, expressive or amiable or the eyes and the S's they're not, you're not winning them over at all.
They're not learning in that onboarding process because those eyes, those expresses, they need to know how does this. Affect the [00:12:00] big idea, how does this affect longterm goals, what those S's need, what those annual people need, they need to know that this is the right thing for them individually, that this is the right thing for our company, for our clients.
So instead of just saying what traditionally everyone has done. Is here's what's happening. Here's how you do it, especially from a onboarding prospect, you got to take it further. So not only is here's what's happening, here's how to do it. Then you have to answer the when question. So in the short term, you want to break it down to short term and long term.
So in the short term, take all those details. Here's what we're going to accomplish in the first week in your training. Here's what we're going to accomplish in the first three months. In the longterm, here's how it's going to affect you. Here's how it's going to make you better salesperson. Here's how you're going to get more clients because those eyes, if you remember from what we just talked about, eyes, too many details, they're going to shut down, but they still need to know the overall goal.
So break those details down. In the short term and long term, [00:13:00] so then you're bringing in 75%. You can't forget about the annual people or the, or those S's. So now, Hey, we're going to teach this out. Here's how it affects you. Where do we do it this way at our company? Here's how it's the right thing for you.
Here's how it's the right thing for our clients. And here's how it's the right thing for us as an organization. So now instead of just, here's what happens, here's how you do it, here's what happens, here's how you do it, here's the short term and the long term impact. And then here's the who, this is who it actually affects.
Now, all of a sudden you're starting to train people all, all different styles. And when you can communicate a message out that way, every single time, it doesn't matter who you're talking to. Because you've hit every style of communication by rolling out your communication that way.
Leighann Lovely: Very interesting. And you know, and it's interesting, you know, as somebody who, um, and I don't do the training, I don't do training and development in my business specifically because on a [00:14:00] large scale, I don't have what you have, which is the ability to notice, see, again, hi, I, hi, D, I'm, I'm like, off thinking about what the next thing is.
Yes. I'm, but I have the ability to see the problems as they are immediately. I'm one of those people who's like, Oh, I'm here. I'm seeing, I'm seeing where the gaps are. I can immediately pick up on those gaps, pick up on the problems, and then I can go, I see where your problems are. I know where you need to fix your problems.
And I can, I can help deliver on that on a small scale as a seasoned professional, as a seasoned salesperson. But when it comes to that large scale training and development and longterm, that's where somebody like you having that understanding. [00:15:00] Really deep dive understanding of all of those different personality types again.
My personality type does not bode well for that.
Brian Hendricks: Oh, and here's what I would say is, but, and part of what I believe in why I get so passionate about communication and training and everything is that you can train yourself to get good at it. Yes. Like that's the thing is like, yes, like, and I've worked with so many leaders and even in the sales role where they're so focused on numbers, numbers, numbers, got to hit profit, got to hit profit, got to hit this, got to hit our numbers.
And there would be considered that high D or that driver, like it's results, results, results. And they tend, and this is, you know, anecdotally, they tend to have high turnover with their sales reps. And it's because, well, for me, I'm so focused on the bottom line. I'm so focused on my numbers. I'm not communicating that out to my team, you know?
So for [00:16:00] example, Hey, if we hit our numbers this week, that can lead to X, Y, and Z rewards for you. Which then can maybe lead to a promote and all of a sudden those eyes are like, Oh, wait, so if I do this, my, and they start working at it, you know, when you're, Hey, you know, for those, for those S's and those annual people, Hey, yeah, look, we got to hit our numbers.
Like that's, there's no doubt about it, but if you're able to hit your numbers, you're actually gonna get a bonus. So remember how are you talking about how you want to get, you want to get that summer house for your kids? That's a way to start working at it. Right? When you hit your numbers during the week, you don't actually have to work later at night anymore towards the end of the quarter, so you can make all your kids games.
You're now connecting that bottom line to what's important to them. And I would love to say, hey, read a book, take my training, you fix it right away. It's like, no, you have to continually work through it and keep practicing and keep practicing just as anything until you can literally sit with someone.
And within five minutes, I have a pretty good idea of what your style is and [00:17:00] what's going to be important to you. Very interesting.
Leighann Lovely: See, and, and I'm just, well, I just run into a room and start talking,
Brian Hendricks: right? It's so many of those eyes and those DS, those expressive, they do. And if you think about just think about to maybe your last sales meeting and this is for all your listeners out there.
And, you know, sales, salespeople tend to be more expressive drivers, you know, those eyes and those, he doesn't mean you don't have people that are more on the ask assertive what I call them, you know, the analytical is the animals, the S's, the C's, whatever you use. Um, but what I would argue is that your last meeting you were in or think of your last sales meeting, like when you were actually like pitching a client, the people that talk the most are those eyes, those DS, those drivers, the expressives.
If we were to take the time and maybe even, um, you know, say beforehand, we're looking for input from everybody or [00:18:00] direct our questions to those other styles that don't talk as much. You're going to get even a lot more from them because they're the ones coming with the facts with the data, right? They're the ones coming with this people centric perspective that that's what takes sales to the next level.
It's not only you're going to hit your numbers, but you go with us. Your people are going to be happier. Your turnover is going to get whatever it is, but until you loop in all four of those styles, you're not going to get the whole picture of any organization. You're not going to get the whole picture of your own sales team.
If you can't connect to those reps that are, that are a different style.
Leighann Lovely: Yeah, no. And I, I. I completely agree. And there, and I can't remember what the statistics are, but there's a huge number of turnover in salespeople because of the lack of understanding those different styles from a turnover standpoint, from a three month to a six month.
Um, because often sales people, people, let me rephrase often management. Um, looks at [00:19:00] salespeople as being those assumes salespeople are those extrovert salespeople like absolutely people. They assume that they're able to just step into a role and be able to take control and, and do what is necessary to get there.
And so often salespeople are kind of thrown to the wolves and they're like, okay, go out and sell. Right. The. Um, the problem, and, and this is coming from somebody who's been in multiple different roles and been a contractor in multiple different roles in order to help with figuring out why can't we keep salespeople?
And that information up front is not delivered. It's not, you know, and, and so I've, I've had to step into, you know, really the analytical position of, okay, well. Um, where's the information, where's your, you know, your mini database of all of your material, [00:20:00] where's the, you know, who do I go to for X, Y, and Z, how do I, and this is ever more important in a world where we are now remote even more, where our boss may be in another state and we can't physically walk up to him and say, Hey, I need, you know, I need this, I need that.
I need this in order to be successful. I need to have a clear understanding of my pricing structure. I need to have, and they're just like, well, didn't you go through this in the onboarding? And this happens a great deal with large organizations where you have your HR department doing the initial onboarding and you're supposed to have your manager doing another piece.
And he's going, well, didn't this person do this and didn't this person, it also comes down to. Do you prefer your information to be verbal? Do you prefer your information to be written, [00:21:00] video? You need to
Brian Hendricks: take it, you need to have me watch you go through it to do it? Yeah. Well, and I think too, to that point, you know, we talk about, you know, re delivering that message out, that last R is about communication style, but I take it a little bit even further than that.
It's about knowledge level. So whatever, you know, theory of development you use, we use something called the life cycle of growth. Basically it says that humans develop in four phases. So when they learn something brand new, when they get brought into an organization, when kids learn how to throw a baseball.
It's four phases of development. Um, and that very first phase is when people are onboarding. It's this unconsciously unable, I like to say they don't know what they don't know. They don't know how to use the CRM. Now let's say, Oh no, that person, they came from company XYZ. They had the same CRM. You have it set up.
differently than they did. So even those great sales reps who've been great sales reps, when they come to your organization, they have to learn how [00:22:00] you do it. They have to learn how your culture sees things. They have to learn your processes. And I think so many times in sales, especially as you mentioned is, Oh, you know, this person's coming in.
They've been a sales rep for years. They know what they're doing. If you have any questions, let me know. And it's like, well, shouldn't you be walking that person through when they're at that unconsciously unable stage? And what I see a lot is when we have, you know, young professionals, maybe it's their first sales job and they're coming in.
I get this all the time. Well, they don't ask questions. Why aren't they asking me questions? And I immediately look at the sales leader and I said, think back to when you don't know something and you're in a group setting, are you raising your hand? No. Well, why don't I ask? Why don't you raise your hand? I don't want to look dumb.
I want it. I want it to be like one of my boss is there and they think I can't do this anymore. So when you have those people that are brand new to your company, to your organization, to the workforce, it is your job as a leader to outline every [00:23:00] single thing for them. People say micromanaging is bad in three out of the four stages of development.
A hundred percent right. When you have someone who is unconsciously unable in that first stage, you have to micromanage them. Now, once they've learned, Yeah, I was gonna say, just once they've learned, then you take it off right away. Because now they're asking questions. Now they're like, oh, I know this, but I don't know this, so let me ask.
We as leaders, we get so frustrated with new employees with because they don't know and they're not asking questions. And I told them to ask me any questions. No, no, no. It is your job to outline everything for them.
Leighann Lovely: I remember in my first sales, my first real. Like corporate sales job. I had, I had like these little, you know, sales roles and, but my first real corporate sales, I pissed off every other salesperson because again, personality wise, I was never afraid to raise my hand and be like, am I supposed to know what ACH means?[00:24:00]
They're like, oh, well probably not if you've never been in a real corporate and you're dealing with payroll. They also did, you know, sold payroll services and I had never heard Mm-Hmm, , the acronym A CH. And everybody's throwing this around like, oh, this didn't go, this a CH didn't work. And I'm like, is this like, am I supposed to know what this means?
Right, right. And they're like,
Brian Hendricks: oh, let's go. Oh, thank you for asking that. Like, we were so happy you asked that question.
Leighann Lovely: Right. And then there was another acronym and I'm like. Am I supposed to know that one? Right. Absolutely. And they're like, no, probably not. And so then I just got to the point where I'm like, I don't want to sound stupid, but I don't know what you're talking about.
Brian Hendricks: Absolutely.
Leighann Lovely: Right. You know, and, and again, this was, you know, this was in my, my twenties and I'm, so I'm sitting there going, you know, late twenties, this is my second career. I was in HR beforehand and in HR. Again, corporate HR, you, you don't, I wasn't [00:25:00] payroll. I wasn't part of payroll. I was, so there were a lot of things that they assumed that I should know.
And I went, guys, I, I have no idea what some of these act. And again, companies make these assumptions like, Oh, Well, she's, you know, she's in her late twenties. She probably is going to know these things and you don't, a lot of people, and I've, I've looked at now, obviously in my forties when I don't know something, I'll just go, guys, I don't know.
But that is a learned thing. The older that you get, you go, you know what, I don't know what you're talking about. Like I've been around the block long enough that I, but in your twenties you go, I don't want to sound stupid. And it's like, that's something that goes with age when you're like. Yeah, if I sound stupid.
Brian Hendricks: That's right. It doesn't matter because I'd rather sound dumb right away and keep my job and be successful at my job then. Oh, [00:26:00] Brian. Brian's not figuring it out. Four
Leighann Lovely: months from now. Go you guys. I still don't know what ACH means. They're going to go. Wait, you've been here four months and you don't know what that means.
Right? I'd rather.
Brian Hendricks: No. And I think you're 100 percent right. And I think to me, like I hear that so often, And I, I don't put that on, I mean, I shouldn't say I don't, that part of that is that the team member's responsibility, right? To ask the question, but for me, it's more the responsibility of that manager or that leader, because you have to realize they literally don't know what they don't know.
Correct. You have to outline everything for them. I mean, oh, they get so frightened. I hear so many leaders. They get so frustrated, you know, oh, they're always doing X. I'm like, well, did you ever tell them not to do X? Well, they should know. Why should they know if you never explained that, then they would never know not to do that, you know, and that's, that's where it, for me, it's like, no, that's where we have to take responsibilities as leaders, as, [00:27:00] as director of sales, as VP of sales, whatever your title is for your team to train them the right way from the start.
Leighann Lovely: And if, and if you're not drilling it into somebody of. Hey, no question is a dumb question, but in six, six months from now, if you're still behind because you weren't asking the question up front, then, then we're going to be having a different conversation. So ask now, I would rather have you bombard me and ask.
And again, I pissed off all the sales people because they were like, Oh my God, we're going to be in this meeting for the next three hours. But at the end of the day, all of those sales people that in the first three weeks of me working there. Came to respect me because I then knew all of the things that I needed to know.
And I became a, I rose up and became a very good salesperson because I knew the information and [00:28:00] I wasn't afraid to go. I don't know this. I want to learn this. I want, however it is on the sales and they had a, they had a very good sales leader who was like, if you don't know this. Ask, we're going to go and have sales training.
We're going to learn. I mean, and they went down to the basics of how to ask open ended questions. How do you start an open ended question? It was, it was, uh, this was a great company to start as a first time corporate sales person. Um,
Brian Hendricks: well, and tying that into what we talked about before. The reason you were so comfortable with that person was probably because he was versatile or she was versatile in her, in their communication.
They adjusted the communication style to what you needed. So now that it all goes together, it's not one or the other. It's a, it's a both end situation.
Leighann Lovely: And that, and that makes all the difference between whether that person is going to choose to stay and whether or not that person is going to say, Hey, the heck with this [00:29:00] company not willing to work with me.
And again, I did a disc assessment before I started there and they understood how my, you know, how I learned. And this was many, many years ago when, when company, well, I think that was the rise. That was the beginning of the rise of. Those personality assessments. When you, you applied for any job and
Brian Hendricks: you like I do nothing.
Cause I can just show you my profile. I have it down.
Leighann Lovely: so Brian, you do you specialize in desk?
Brian Hendricks: Yeah. Your organization. Discs and social styles. And social styles. So those are the two. Yeah. So two, two again, very similar. Um, the biggest differences if, if people are wondering out there, cause you know, people have heard disc or hear social styles. Disc is, it's great.
It's wonderful. Uh, it's a self assessment only. Social styles is a 360 assessment. So you get your perception of yourself and then others perception of you. [00:30:00] So that's a, there's other things that we can go into on another show, but those are the, the, the, probably the biggest difference right there.
Leighann Lovely: And so explain to me the, um, the, the 360 so that, that I have a better understanding of, of.
How that one works.
Brian Hendricks: Yes. So the, the social styles assessment itself, I think it's about 49 questions. Um, and what you do is you fill out the survey based on yourself. So how do you think you communicate? How do you think you use your word, your tone, your body language? There's also a piece to it called versatility.
So how optimistic are you seeing from a leadership perspective? You know, how, um, how willing are you to fight for other people from a leadership perspective? So I should say that's another. Difference between disc and social styles. There's this a whole nother measurement called versatility with social styles, but the three 60 piece is the piece that I really love because you send it out to, uh, people who work above you.
So maybe who you report to, you can send it out [00:31:00] to people that are on your same level, you can send it to your team that reports directly to you. You can send it out to your clients who you have good relationships with. And what you're getting is you're getting other people's perception of how you communicate.
And what I can say, it's amazing because 50 percent of the time we see ourselves differently than how other people see us. And especially in the working world, perception truly does become reality and how I'm being perceived is so much more important than what I want to be. What are what I want to say?
You know, I've had people who, who come in, they're the nicest human beings they get on their results. I say, well, they're not a good listener. Uh, they're rude, they're forceful. And they're like, that doesn't sound like me at all. I'm like, that's not how you're trying to be perceived. But when you cut somebody off, because you're excited about that idea, that other person is taking offense to that.
That means you're not a good listener. And no, I am a good listener. I heard it. And then I want to do this. And I'm [00:32:00] like, that's not the perception of it. So then we talk, all right, well then let everybody get their thoughts out, let them get there and then say, I love that idea. Here's some additional things.
So it's, it's all about perception. I can't tell you how many times I have dealt with people who come and give me detail after detail, after detail, after detail. And in my head, I'm like, who cares about all this stuff right now? You know, and how about just a, Hey, Brian, how are you today? How's life going?
And then give me all the details. And in my head, I'm like, that person's just a jerk. They just don't care about me. When in reality. They're a really good person. They do care about what's going on in my life. But for them, we need to work right now. And when we're on break at when we go to happy hour, then we'll connect on it.
And so it's changing, it's twofold, I would say it's why I like the 360. One, it changes how I perceive everybody else communicating to me, realizing that most people aren't going to be versatile and they're going to communicate in a way that makes them comfortable. But secondly, [00:33:00] then I can work on my own communication to everybody else, because I'm being perceived in a way either that I like or that I don't like, and then I can adjust my communication based on how other people are seeing me.
And you don't get that with the self reflection. You get that with the 360 piece.
Leighann Lovely: That is amazing. And I would love to do that because, you know, it is, you do think I, I would assume, and I know that we should never assume, but that the majority of the people out in the world believe that they are communicating in a way that is kind and nice and to, to everybody.
Right? I mean, we as human beings don't assume Mean we don't try to go out and be assholes,
Brian Hendricks: right? It's so true It is well and every time every time I go through results with people They're like, I can't believe they think that [00:34:00] or I can't believe they see me that way I'm like, it's not saying that you are this big like you're not a mean rude person But that's the perception based on how you're interacting with them And we can control that.
I think that's what's cool about it too, is we can control that. That is under our control. How we control that is by taking a deep breath, back to that RQ process before I interact with someone. How am I going to use my words, my tone, my body language, and then how am I going to re deliver that message out?
Leighann Lovely: That's and you know what? I think that every, every salesperson. Um, should, that should be something that every salesperson does maybe every couple of years to really have, you know, an idea of the way that they are perceived not only by their clients, but by their community of referral sources, by their community of maybe even lost clients.
And to get an idea as to how am I and why [00:35:00] am I. Exactly. Exactly. Either rubbing people wrong or whatever it might be to, I mean, what a better way to grow as a human, as a person.
Brian Hendricks: And I think that's why I love. If you can tell I love doing this stuff, I love teaching this stuff and working with you because I see it at work, but then I also see it at home like I know my wife's style and and just a quick little story.
She is the exact opposite of me. She is very analytical, very amiable, like very like. Give me the facts, give me the details. If there's a problem, I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just going to keep it right in here. And then maybe, and if there's an issue, I'm gonna, I used to just blur it out. Now I realize, okay, don't just burp things out, like breathe rich and think about it.
Um, but an issue came up and something with her work related and my response, you know, years ago would have been like, sit down and talk about it right now. And then I don't want to talk about it and lead to a [00:36:00] confrontation. This time it was, Hey, that's awful. I can't believe that happened when you're ready to talk, I'm here two days later, we got breakfast and she unloaded everything.
And it was just, I understand what she needs from a communications and she does the exact same with me now. Cause she knows what I need. So yes, it works in sales. Yes. It works in organizations, but very selfishly, it works at home too, with your kids, with your spouse. It's, it's amazing when you learn.
Leighann Lovely: Yes.
And that has, because more and more as I've grown as a person in self discovery, I've changed my style with my daughter. I've also, I mean, my husband and I went through marriage counseling because we were constantly butting heads. And through that we, we picked out a very specific style of marriage counselor who really focused on communication, basically the exact same
Brian Hendricks: thing.
I can't tell you how many people have said, Hey, after the training, we will do training. And I can't, can you do this for spouses too? Like can we do spousal [00:37:00] training?
Leighann Lovely: Right. And I, and I specifically chose him based on what his. What his studies were and, and I'm like, okay, I'm, I'm, we're not going in this to talk about our emotions and our, we're going into this to talk about communication styles and how to break down barriers of X, Y, Z, like, because we don't have, we're not looking at divorce.
We're just looking at like, how can we figure out personality styles and better communicate? You know, it was just a little. I don't know, brush, what would you call it? Like brush up on getting better at whatever. It is. It's
Brian Hendricks: just how can we communicate better?
Leighann Lovely: Correct. And so going through that, all of a sudden I realized, oh my God, how have I been blind?
And you do, especially with somebody you're so close to and you become very close with coworkers. Um, but you, and you forget, like sometimes you, You forget, like, I've known him for so long [00:38:00] that there are times where I'm just like, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, uh, I just can't. And I make assumptions about what I think he's thinking.
And then, so we backed up and went, okay, wait a second. I need to allow him to speak for himself and I need to stop speaking for him in my own head.
Brian Hendricks: Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I mean, and that's. One of my favorite quotes, and I always, I always like to joke that I came up with this, even though everyone knows this quote, it's you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
And when we look at relationships, whether at home with a client with, well, we have a good long term relationship with someone, we get comfortable in it. So what that means is maybe at first I was being very versatile with you. So I was giving you what you need, but at this point. You know me, this is who I am, so I'm just going to do this and it's, you almost need that training, that kick in the butt to be like, no, no, no, this is not a being versatile, doesn't just go away when you're [00:39:00] comfortable with someone, right?
You have to go back and get uncomfortable and communicate in that person's zone,
Leighann Lovely: right? There, there came a time in our relationship where I was like, every eggshells. And he looked at me and goes. Uh, no, no, no, no. That's how I feel. And I went, Oh, okay. We have a communication problem.
Brian Hendricks: There is a communication breakdown.
Absolutely.
Leighann Lovely: So, you know, again, okay. Enough about that. Anyways. So, Brian, we, we've, you know, covered a lot of ground. Great conversation. But I want to give you an opportunity to do your 30 second, second shameless pitch before we wrap up. Love
Brian Hendricks: it. I love it. Thank you. Um, so again, as you said, uh, CEO and owner of dynamic developments, training, leadership, uh, we do every type of training leadership and organizational development that you can need.
So we can actually take you through the whole organizational development side, go through surveys, small group discussion, focus groups, and figure out, Hey, here's the training you [00:40:00] need, or you can come down and say, we need leadership class. We need an effective communication class. We have that. And we customize everything.
Cause I'm not one who just take it off the shelf and give it to you. We want to get to know you and make it worth it for you. The last thing I'll say, I did write a book. Uh, everything we talked about is in here. It's called the communicators playbook, uh, is an Amazon bestseller, and you can find it on Amazon in heart or a paperback copy and, uh, ebook.
And I'm currently working on the audible version as well.
Leighann Lovely: That's amazing. So, um, if you want to reach out to Brian or his company, how would you go about doing that? Yeah.
Brian Hendricks: So the easiest way is going to be www. dynamicdevelopments. net. That's our website. Uh, you can also connect with me on Instagram, uh, develop.
W Brian develop with Brian, uh, I'm on there, uh, or just send me an email. And I think you put this in the show notes. Um, my direct email is just BrianHendricks@ dynamicdevelopments.net. So trying to be as, as open to any type [00:41:00] of communication as possible.
Leighann Lovely: And that'll all be in the show notes, Brian, I really appreciate you coming on and talking with me today.
It's been an amazing conversation. Yes.
Brian Hendricks: Thank you for having me, Leanne. I appreciate it.
