Ep. 76 ”Conflict is Dangerous and Will Make People Abandon Me” - Scott Mawdesley’s False Narrative

Growing up in Michigan, Scott's early life was marked by dramatic changes. His family went from financial stability, with his father running a successful chiropractic practice, to severe hardship after a failed business relocation. Between ages 8 and 18, Scott lived in 13 different houses, including a period in a tent, and his family relied on their faith community for basic needs like food. The instability peaked when his mother temporarily left with his younger brothers, leaving Scott with his father and older brother for about a year and a half. When his mother returned, Scott's father told him and his brother to never discuss what had happened – just move on. This created deep-seated false beliefs in Scott: that he had to figure everything out alone, and that conflict would make loved ones abandon him. These beliefs affected his marriage and other relationships well into adulthood. The turning point came at age 36, when his spiritual mentor John asked him a pivotal question during a work meeting: "What's in the gap?" after noticing Scott's disproportionate reaction to a situation. This question, combined with becoming a father himself and wanting to give his children a different experience than his own, motivated Scott to seek help. He spent six years in counseling, working through his childhood trauma and false beliefs. Today, at 52, Scott leads organizations helping other men, particularly fathers, through similar journeys. He runs "Dads on Tap," a nonprofit connecting fathers at local breweries, works with "Man in the Mirror" focusing on spiritual fatherhood, and has written a book called "A Dad's Bible Journey." His story demonstrates how awareness of our "gaps" – those places where our reactions don't match the situation – can lead to meaningful personal growth and healing.

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