Episode 46: If you are thinking of giving your kid social media, do this first!

Are you considering giving your kid a social media account? Here is one of many things I wish I would have known, but one of the most important starting out! 

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 FULL TRANSCRIPTION:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Social media is all the rave. It is how many kids communicate with each other. So when we don't allow it, a lot of times they feel this mega fear of missing out because it is how so many kids communicate. So if you are someone who has decided, okay, I think I want to move forward with letting them have a social media account, but I don't know what the most important things are when I move forward with this. Well today, we're going to talk about one single thing that I wish I would have done. There's multiple things I wish I would've done, but this one thing is something that I really, really wish I would have done. When I first allowed social media stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:44):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson, Hey friends, did you hear

Speaker 1 (01:09):

There is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. Alrighty. So this episode, we are just going to talk about giving access to social media, to your kiddo. If you were at the point to where you want to allow that, and one tip that you can do to help kind of tiptoe into this whole thing and kind of keep some control over what is going on until you have some peace of mind and can help guide them in expanding their independence on the platform.

Speaker 1 (02:07):

So, disclaimer, I must say is that I believe social media has influence and impact that is hard to comprehend and is very multifaceted. So proceed with caution with this. I'm not encouraging you to give a social media account to your kiddo until you are able to proactively guide them and spend the time doing this, do not proceed with this confidence that they are just going to know how to navigate it because every kid is different and the influences are just so very powerful. And we know our kids bend to self-esteem. I mean, not self-esteem, but peer pressure, just like we did as kids. And this is a form of peer pressure. So I want to give you this tip, but I also want you to proceed with caution and use your own judgment for your kid and be very, very active and proactive in this place to help guide your kiddo.

Speaker 1 (03:01):

And of course, you know, if you've listened to other episodes that I absolutely recommend that you get bark and bark home to help you with this monitoring, like I've said before, this whole parenting in the digital age takes a village like a huge freaking village. And that village can consist of the parents, grandparents, friends, the parents of friends, but it absolutely needs to include some form of monitoring such as bark that you can put on the device and on your home life. I, that will give you some peace of mind. It will help you to sleep at night because it's monitoring things that you don't necessarily want to have to be all in their business with things, but it's monitoring conversations and all of those things that they do on their phones and can give you insight to what's going on before you realize it.

Speaker 1 (03:49):

And bark has been found to intervene on conversations about drugs and alcohol violence, suicide, depression, anxiety, all of the things, cyber bullying, all of those things that many of us will not know about until it is too late in some way, shape or form. So I absolutely, if you're going to do the smartphone route, if you're, even if you're going to do a pinwheel phone, that one can use bark too, but get bark on there to help you monitor it, picks up on things that you otherwise would miss. Absolutely. So it'll give you peace of mind, help you to sleep at night and just be part of your village. Okay. But what I want to talk about is that if you are going to give a social media account, I absolutely would do this. If I could get a do-over and I did kind of do this when I realized that I needed to, but that is to have the password to that social media account and even start out by putting it on your phone.

Speaker 1 (04:43):

So they access it and do the things that they need to do through your phone first. So you can monitor things if you don't want to do it through your phone and they have their own phone, then you make sure that you have that password and that they know that you can look at that at any time. And that is not to, you know, just be all in their business, but it is to help guide them and help, you know, just see what they are doing. If they object to this and don't want to do this, then they're not mature enough to have that account because there's no reason they should be hiding anything from you. And if they are having, you know, seem to be wanting to do that, then that needs to be an open discussion about what's going on there. Why do you feel like you need to hide this stuff from me?

Speaker 1 (05:22):

So that is the number one thing that I would do if I could get a do-over besides just not giving a phone so young and not giving all of the things so young without realizing the impact. Okay. But I do think that that is so, so important for both your peace of mind and them just learning that this is kind of a dance that you're going to do together and that they will gain independence as time goes on and they demonstrate responsible use. And of course there are many other facets to this and you will have other things to consider. But for the sake of this episode, that is the number one thing that I would do. Now, I am together a B that mom movement method, which is basically going to be a roadmap for you to follow a method for you, to use with tools and resources for you to navigate this proactively and to feel like you are in control of what is going on with your kids.

Speaker 1 (06:15):

You have all of the tools and resources to make a confident, positive decision about what you do, where you go and how you proceed with this in a way that makes sense for you and your family and your personal preferences, your kids' temperaments, all of the different things. Okay. So I hope you will stay tuned for that jump on it. When I get it released, because I will have a significant discount so that we together can proceed in raising our kids in this digital age with a proactive stance that is based on knowledge and a method to follow. Okay. So I hope you will check that out. And I hope that you found this episode, helpful, proceed with caution with the social media things. But I do believe that there is a way to do it where you tip toe in it and help guide them. And then you let that independence out as they get older. And as you have more confidence and of course get bark on your side, barked at us, use code, be that mom for a discount on the lifetime of your subscription. So with those tools, that can be part of your village to help monitor and all that. So you can check out the links in the show notes for those, and I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (07:24):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time. Hey,

Speaker 1 (07:39):

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