I Don’t Need This In My Life Anymore

2024-05-09

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There comes a time and a place when you say, ‘I don’t need this in my life anymore. That you have options. You are worthy of more than this. It had gone on too long and what was actually abnormal had now become the norm. She had been morphed into a reality that was never meant to be. He had been entranced by some musical flute to follow a fool’s dance tune. But then a reality lightbulb flicked on. Not a massive lightbulb that you would use to light an entire room, it was more one of those little bulbs you find in a s...

There comes a time and a place when you say, ‘I don’t need this in my life anymore. That you have options. You are worthy of more than this.

It had gone on too long and what was actually abnormal had now become the norm. She had been morphed into a reality that was never meant to be. He had been entranced by some musical flute to follow a fool’s dance tune.

But then a reality lightbulb flicked on. Not a massive lightbulb that you would use to light an entire room, it was more one of those little bulbs you find in a small penlight torch.

It began to glow steady and strong in the soul. She couldn’t put it out. He didn’t want to extinguish it.

But the light grew and grew stronger and stronger until it was so strong that it could not be ignored or turned off.

That light could have various names.

Pick one or two that suit.

You’re worth more than this
You don’t need this in your life
There is something better than this
Their dance dirge doesn’t have to be yours
Self care is not selfishness
Addiction, to anything, doesn’t have to dominate
With the right help, with millimetre steps, change can blossom and grow

She walked out of the marriage.

He sort out better friends.

A distaste, even a revulsion, grew in her for the drink, the drugs, the lies, the sex.

He left his job of convenience, safe and boringingly secure.

She left the porn addiction knowing in-to-me-see (intimacy) needed risk if it was to be real.

He lost his taste for boring mincemeat T.V. and wrote poetry until dawn.

She took a pair of scissors to the credit card.

He sold his ‘pride and joy’ classic car and looked to the curves of his wife.

It wasn’t easy. It was hard, hard, hard. Scarey single tightrope hard, but actually the first little steps weren’t as bad as expected.

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