Will we make it to the end?

Homily for 4th Sunday in Advent

Sunday 18th December 2022

We have reached the 4th Sunday in Advent, with just one week to go to Christmas. Most people are rushing around trying to find gifts or finish up projects at work for the holidays.

For me this has been a week of memories of a person who journeyed with me and my brother deacons, through doubts, frustrations, and laughter and then, a band of brothers, seeing the pandemic through weekly get-togethers on Zoom to boost each other’s morale.

At times none of us knew whether we would make it to the end. Of the 14 who started in the propaedeutic year, only six began the diaconate studies. For one reason or another, the journey had come to an end for 8 of us.

For the following two years, things were as normal as could be. Brendan often arrived late but had good reason. Unlike most of us who only travelled a few miles to be in Dromintine, Brendan’s journey often started several continents away with multiple flights. He could have been in Afghanistan or from New York, where he may have been involved in some kind of mediation to bring two warring sides together.

Brendan always brought a fresh perspective to our conversations and challenged our perspectives, making us think differently. Yet, he was always humble, uncertain of his capabilities of study as his own academic ventures, to him, seemed so far away, when he studied for an honour’s degree at Queens University in Belfast some forty years ago.

I heard recently that while at Queens he was involved in setting up a counselling service for students, with a colleague who became a lifetime friend of his. The same person mentored Brendan through the diaconate having previously travelled the same path a few years before.

Brendan had a rich fascination for monastic chant and music. Arranging a weekend for his cohort of diaconate students up to Portglenone, where we all rose early, as in 2 pm and 4 pm, to join the monks of Our Lady of Bethlehem Abbey, part of the Cistercian Order under the Rule of St. Benedict. A journey of seclusion with communal intercession and contemplative prayer. This way of life is supported by manual labour and craftwork. The chants were of interest to some but not to everyone’s taste. However, through gentle persuasion, Brendan managed to nurture within us all as sense of this form of spirituality in our prayer life.

We all felt our journey to become deacons could end at any time. During the pandemic one in our group felt his path lay elsewhere. He had retired and needed to be involved with others, so became a porter in a local hospital. Very much of service to the community and he thrives in that role. He also continues to support the rest of us, being present at our ordination last January. He still is very much part of our brotherhood.

Five of us were ordained. Three from Armagh Diocese and two from Dromore Diocese. We were thankful we were able to be ordained together as none of us saw ourselves as being separate but as one group.

Over the past eleven months, we have each been designated parishes to serve. Brendan was in Rostrevor. Formation weekends were set up for us and Brendan was at all but the last one. He had come off his bicycle and complications ensued. I only found out because when I found myself in the hospital and was telling the lads through WhatsApp, it turned out he was just two floors below where I was. He was in good spirits, telling us the ‘craic’ in his ward.

I went home and a few days later so did Brendan. Over the last weekend, I had gone to the formation weekend at Dromintine with others who were ordained deacons. We had heard Brendan was back in hospital so kept him in our prayers. We all believed it would be a short stay and he would be home, as before. Sadly, last Tuesday, 13th December, we were sent a message to say he had passed away.

For those of us who journeyed with Brendan into the diaconate, it is still hard to take in. He is with us. He is in our thoughts. I see his smile. Images of him with his puppets used to entertain his grandchildren. He is part of us, as a brother.

On Saturday we will all be in Newry Cathedral at his funeral mass to say goodbye.

Though we are just a week away from Christmas, the stark realities of life are ever present, just as they were for St. Joseph as he pondered divorcing Mary, knowing she was carrying someone else’s child. He didn’t want to disgrace her, so he intended to do it informally. But it was an angel who encouraged Joseph to stay the course and see things through because the child was special, conceived through the Holy Spirit and Joseph had been chosen to be Mary’s spouse.

We must all remember, in difficult times, when we don’t know how to go on, ‘God is with us’  and will help us get through. When Joseph woke, he took his wife, Mary home. What we who remain are encouraged to remember is that Our Lord Jesus Christ has taken our friend home. Brendan’s journey is complete, and it is time for him to rest in peace.