RealzTenisFanz Sorting Hat Song
Oh you may think that we are petty,
But do judge us on what you’ll hear.
For I have no doubt you’ll find
A better tennis podcast here or there
You can keep the other podcasts.
Your ESPN, Tennis Channel or illegal streams
For none of them can boast
Of ever having Realz, Janina or Andreen
We break it down like no other,
Giving you all the tea and drama.
When the others bow to sponsors
We just say hellz no with that bullshit matter
So another live podcast for you Realz Fanz,
Which as always will make you splutter.
For the theme of this major’s draw livecast
Is none other than Harry Potter.
We will divide up your faves by Houses,
Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff Gryffindors.
But yall know some can’t be sorted
As they are really silly, duds and bores
There will be trolls, goblins and giants
Not forgetting house elves too like Dobby
But since they were modelled after slaves you see
We will not/cannot pick anybody
Is Divadal Gryffindor as Murray plays Hufflepuff?
Will Novak be Slytherin to Roger refulgent Ravenclaw?
Who will take Garbina, Caro, Simona or Vika Azarenka?
Do Kerber even get sorted when she’s crashing out the draw
This is Wimbledon grass you know
The oldest tennis tournament on the planet
But we don’t care for the traditions
As we want our faves to win gosh darnit
So pull out your sorcerer/philosopher's stone and your goblet of fire
Don’t be an Azkaban prisoner in some secret chamber
We are the Phoenix Order with a Realz half blood prince
As I hope our deathly hallows bring you no stranger danger
RTF Podcast #188: La Poubelle Open Continues
RTF Podcast #187: Osaka said "Au Revoir France"
RTFLivecast #186: It's Roma Sizzle Baby!!!
The Black Cauldron Ep. 30: A Realz Harry Potter Series (The Deathly Hallows Part 10)
RealzTenisFanz Podcast #185: Podcasting Through A Pandemic
The Black Cauldron Ep. 29: A Realz Harry Potter Series (The Deathly Hallows Part 9)
RTFLivecast #184: Fade To Black!!!
The Black Cauldron Ep. 28: A Realz Harry Potter Series (The Deathly Hallows Part 8)
RTFLivecast #183: Welcome Black!!!
RTFLivecast #182: Black With A Vengeance!!!!
The Black Cauldron Ep. 27: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part 7)
The Black Cauldron Ep. 26: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part 6)
The Black Cauldron Ep. 25: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part 5)
Podcast #181: End of 2020 As We Know It
The Black Cauldron Ep. 24: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part 4)
The Black Cauldron Ep. 23: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part3)
Podcast #181: The Fall French Open Fail!!
The Black Cauldron Ep. 22: A Realz Harry Potter Series (Deathly Hallows Part 2)
RTFLivecast #180: The Fall of the French Open 2020!!!
Podcast #179: RTF Livecast Post US Covid-19 Open
Create your
podcast in
minutes
It is Free
Served with Andy Roddick
Sincerely, Sloane
Tennis Channel Live Podcast
King of the Court
Baseline Intelligence with Jonathan Stokke