Talkin‘ Politics & Religion Without Killin‘ Each Other

Do You Want To Be Right Or The Relationship? Why We Insist on Being Right in Politics & Beyond

2025-07-10

In this solo episode, host Corey Nathan shares a personal story that explores a fundamental question many of us face in political and relational discourse: “Do you want to be right, or do you want the relationship?” Prompted by a real-life interaction following his attendance at a local rally, Corey examines how we navigate our convictions, the costs of being “right,” and the cognitive, identity-based, and psychological roots that underlie our desire to win arguments—especially at the expense of connection. What Is Discussed: The real story behi...

What Is Discussed:

The real story behind a tense political exchange among friends.
The importance of prioritizing relationships over ideological victory.
Key psychological and sociological reasons why people insist on being right.
How identity, ego, and group affiliation shape our perceptions in political dialogue.
Thoughtful strategies to promote civil discourse, even across ideological lines.

Episode Highlights:

[00:03:00] Corey describes the No Kings Rally in Santa Clarita and his motivation for attending.
[00:05:00] A group text spirals into conflict after a friend posts a divisive meme about Democrats.
[00:07:00] Corey challenges the assumptions being made and asserts his conservative identity.
[00:10:00] The text conversation intensifies—Corey confronts the damaging generalizations.
[00:13:00] He reflects on the absence of actual conversation and the importance of listening.
[00:20:00] Corey shares research on cognitive biases like confirmation bias and bandwagon effect.
[00:24:00] A powerful explanation of identity protective cognition and how it affects discourse.
[00:29:00] The psychological roots of being “right”: ego, fear, insecurity, and narcissism.
[00:31:00] A parable of two billy goats illustrates the cost of refusing to give ground.

Featured Quotes:
“Do you want to be right, or do you want the relationship?”
“The endeavor that I care about is people exercising their First Amendment rights.”
“If we were actually talking, you'd know this isn't even in my top 50 concerns.”
“We don’t need to diminish others to hold our convictions.”

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