Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Tammy and the T-Rex - Dino’s don’t fly, Brian
The King’s Daughter - Hire a barber, not a mermaid!
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity - Gotta hit the head....room
Year 8 in Review
American Ninja 5 - Little Ninja Men
Night Game - We’re talking baseball!
No Escape - No chicks allowed
Slime City - Don’t eat pudding before watching
Cocaine Bear - Winnie the Pooh loved his honey, so....
An Appointment with Death
Zardoz - Rerun
American Ninja 4 - Ninja manliness wars!
American Ninja Rerun
The Dirt - Whose wiener is this anyways?
Primal Rage - Sasquatch is so lonely
American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt - Wanna hunt some blood this weekend, Phil?
211 - Swirlie receiver takes down international crime
The Gingerdead Man - Three key ingredients of murder cookies
Feeders 2: Slay Bells - Jeff Goldblum has nothing on Santa
Violent Night - Santa ain’t got time for your heist
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