Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Gleaming the Cube - Thrashing the Room
Volcano: Fire on the Moutain - Cortano!
Moving NOT Movies Episode 8 - The last duel
Moving not Movies Episode 7 - Black Bolt should shut up
Moving NOT Movies Episode 6 - The best of the last 10 years
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - Broke my brain
Moving NOT Movies Episode 5 - We inch closer
Moving NOT Movies Episode 4 - Its Showtime, Dammit
Moving NOT Movies Episode 3 - Tyler Durden is a flight risk
Moving Not Movies Episode 2 - Sam hates Wheels of Time
Moving NOT Movies Episode 1 - Don’t Go to Wyoming
Lifeguard - Not Baywatch
Rage and Honor 2: Koi’rate
Rage and Honor - Sister Justice?
Gator - Ballad of Bones and Smiley
White Lightning - Drunk Vengeance
Moonfall - So where’s Adele and James Bond?
51st State - POS 51 is right
Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects - Rolex Ala’ Mode
Alien Resurrection - Horny science....in space!
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