Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Home Sweet Home Alone - Barbara Streisand‘s House
Die Hard 2 - Is dying soft an option?
Deep Blue Sea - Sharks love to party
Mad Dog Time - Questionable Decision Time
Fast Getaway - A lesson in a need for mothers
Aladdin - I wish I wasn‘t such a bad person, Daddy
Lady in the Water - Stinker Madness Rerun
The Terror Within II - Daddy‘s home, Monster Baby
Candyman - Not the bees!
Dragonheart - Death by cheese cart!
The Terror Within - The Texas Legislature should watch this
Vibes - Only the wrong ones
Beastmaster III - Dar isn‘t in control of anything
Terminal Exposure - HOT TUB LIMO!!!
Cop and a Half - Never cross the streams, kid?
White Tiger - The Zelchong are coming for you
Penitentiary - They ripped off Justin's novel!
Jungleground - The Magmaknockers were better
Space Truckers - Liquid Beef, cute but not the real thing.
The Forbidden Dance - How we solve global warming
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