Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
It ain't Blade. It's 90s Anne Rice with unattractive people and inept opponents. And it all could have been avoided by drinking tea together.
At least everyone is evenly matched. Don's Jack Cutter is way ill equipped and ill prepared to be taking down even lower level vampires. Guns don't work, bud. A sword seriously would have been cheaper and more effective than his shotgun and M1911s. Or a hammer. Use a damn hammer! Why a hammer against vampires? Because the vampires have spines that are made of glass. Well big deal right? Nope that's the only way you can kill them. By breaking their incredibly fragile spine. Huh...
And so the idiot plot begins. This entire movie is about vampires fight vampire hunters - all because the vampire hunters want to kill them. Why do the vampire hunters want to kill them? Because the vampires want to kill them. Not because they are abominations. Not because they are eating people. Not because their tired of their goth attire. Nope. Its just a blood feud. So all this could have been avoided if they'd just walked away and the vampires could have used their immortality to benefit the world via medicine, music and exploration, By blood feuding, the vampire hunters are denying the planet a utopian future.
Look, it's not great. It's got the feeling and tone of a million other 90s DTV movies (usually staring Jeff Fahey or James Remar) and drags here and there. But the idiot plot, the horrible casting, the stupid karate and the LOL ending all put this in the DO column.
Roar - Joe Exotic's wet dream but our nightmare
Bare Knuckles - Pizza Hut's Bag o' Pizza for 2
Yor: The Rerun
Return of Swamp Thing - Stinker Madness Rerun
Swamp Thing - Stinker Madness Rerun
Dangerous Men - The Hunt for Black Pepper
Conan the Destroyer - You're Welcome, Zach Snyder
Looker - Stick to advertising, guys
Runaway - Roomba's gone awry!
Radical Jack - Stinker Madness Rerun
DOA - Wait, where's the jiggle physics?
Double Dragon - The Power of Robert Patrick's future hair
Top Gun - aka Third Grade
Iron Eagle - Plane Nonsense
The Demolitionist - Dark Angel or Dark Brain-eating Zombie?
Dirty Dancing Part 2 - Stalking Baby and Her Dad
Dirty Dancing Part 1 - Lawrence Welk's Church and Prostitution Camp
End of Days - The Devil IS the Reject
Stay Tuned - or Just Listen Now
The Ice Pirates - Don't pirate the movie
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