Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
When you gotta remake a Jaws movie, make sure to remake Jaws II, cause you really can't screw it up and here's exhibit A. Expect many exploding dummies, strange sequences and terrible models.
In grand 70s/80s Italian film tradition, we've got a direct ripoff of both Quint from Jaws and the plot of Jaws II. In further grand tradition, we've got terrible voice-over, ridiculous action sequences, inept heroes, questionable film ethics, and nonsensical characters. But what really makes The Last Shark shine is the little things.
From the start with a very laboring windsurfer, to DJ Exposition, to the daughter's strange habit of falling out of boats, and her mom's absolute lack of care the movie features little non-plot vignettes that leave the viewer thinking about them more than they think about how awful the shark looks - and the shark looks terrible.
Let's talk about the shark though (whom we've dubbed Ultimo) - he not only looks terrible but he's a very strange shark. It seems he has two primary "shark moves" - exploding people into the air and just putting his face up above the water as if to say "Hey look at me! I'm a damn shark!". He also employs traps and uses bait. Pretty sure sharks don't do that. When it does come time for him to bite some people, he usually starts with the feet and has a habit of not finishing his dinners. Ultimo is the second best shark of all time (when it comes to being crappy) and is an absolute treat. All Jaws ripoffs should learn a thing from Ultimo.
It's not the best crappy shark movie, but it's still a really great ride and is perfect for a group of riffers.
Robot Jox - This Jox's for you
Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Not as slimey as lead to believed
Rollerball - Could be the worst movie of all time
Roadhouse (2024) - Dalton should've packed more shirts
Riding the Bus with my Sister - Wait, isn't this just a Hallmark movie?
Tiptoes - Nobody puts Oldman in the sofa, baby
Blown Away - Bombs, sure, but not they way they wanted
Ishtar - Ishnotsobad?
Lisa Frankenstein - It's pronounced LEE-SAW!
Night Teeth - Ugh, valley girl vampires are so passe.
Action USA - All Action, All the Time
New York Ninja - Powdered Egg Vengeance
Annabelle - I am NecraZul, Lord Demon of the LA Rams and Tea Parties
Highlander II - Immortal Space Laser Conspiracy Theory
Double Trouble - It takes two, baby
Detective Knight: Redemption - Go how you wanna go, Bruce
The Christmas Consultant - Don’t Hassel Your Christmas Man
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