In this episode of Operation: Thriving Marriage, we’re diving into two of the biggest ways couples sabotage communication without even realizing it: harboring resentment and bottling up feelings. Communication is essential to solving any problem in marriage, and if you can’t talk openly and honestly, you’ll stay stuck. Resentment builds when expectations are unspoken, unmet, or unreasonable — what we call “Unexpectations.” Whether it’s about chores, money, kids, or in-laws, resentment creates emotional walls and keeps you from having real conversations. The only way to deal with it is to face it head-on in a loving, calm way, and work together toward a solution.
We also talk about how bottling up feelings damages communication. Emotions—pleasant or unpleasant—are natural responses to life. But when you hide how you feel, you create distance from your spouse, and eventually, resentment. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions, examine where they’re coming from, and share them with your spouse. When you promised to give yourself fully in marriage, that included your emotional self.
This is part one of a two-part series on ways we sabotage communication. Be sure to catch the next episode, where we’ll talk about letting arguments grow, withholding apologies, and reacting without thinking. If this episode helped you, share it with a friend and leave us a review!