Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
A mediocre talent finds inspiration in an over-the-hill mentor and in doing so makes a nightclub successful. So Xanadu...right? Actually, it's also Chicago, Moulin Rouge and Coyote Ugly. Thanks Troy from Goonies!
Let's face it, gang. Burlesque is about 30 minutes too long and suffers from the typical drag of poorly thought out projects - there's too many subplots and no main plot. While most of them are just meh, one subplot is insufferable - the romance. What's her name Aquafina falls in love with her (seriously gay) roommate/coworker. And their relationship is like watching paint dry, then become acid and fly into your face. It is intolerably uninteresting until it causes you physical pain.
The songs don't fit the theme (they are pop hits, not the cabaret/vaudeville that fits with burlesque dancing). The dancing is pretty bland. The costumes are about as burlesque as a road stop strip joint and they are too few anyways. I can't understand why the signing/dancing movie fan would ever like this. I'd be pissed. It's like Batman Returns - a Batman movie with no Batman.
There's nothing here for anyone. Steer clear.
Streaming Do's and Don'tsIf Looks Could Kill - Well, LA Looks CAN kill
Jackpot - Grand Death Lotto is a better movie, Rockstar!
Thunder - Why'd you take his pants off, Thunder?
Final Justice - A cheap trip to Malta is to just do murder there
Tarot - A wet torn bag of chips covered in runny dookie
Conquest - Someone just give those pooches a home!
Robowar - So it's not a ripoff of West Side Story, I guess
Twisters - Nados coming again, Oklahoma!
Junior - The dog's name was Junior
State Park - The summer version of ski movies
R.O.T.O.R. - Coldyron, you're one tough cop/doctor/engineer/rancher/captain/cowboy/philosopher!
A Family Affair - Not even white noise is this unremarkable
Alley Cat - Park Prey
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - Boot Betty in the Bunsen Burner
Madame Web - Failed to predict my devastating boredom
Atlas - Shrug
Robot Jox - This Jox's for you
Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
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