3 questions to ADHD Declutter Your Life with Ease

Dr. Diana Mercado-Marmarosh:Hello. Hello. Welcome to Beyond A D H D A Physician's Perspective. I am Dr. Diana Mercado Marmarosh. I'm a family medicine physician practicing in rural Texas. I used to be hindered by my A D H D. But I now see it as a gift that helps me show up as the person I was always meant to be, both in my work and in my personal life.

In the past two years, I've come to realize that unlearning some of my beliefs and some of my habits were just as important as learning the new set of skills.

Hello. Hello. I am so excited to be here with you today. Uh, we are definitely in January, 2023 now, and I wanted to start out this year, right? I wanted to remind you guys why we do what we're doing. Um, we forget that. Our growth is optional. , we always think that, you know, we have to wait until the new year.

We have to wait till Monday. We have to wait until whenever to start making a change. But the thing is, you really don't, someday is not a day on the calendar, right? You really have to decide what your intentions are for 2023 and go for it. And so this. Um, my intentions continue to be, to grow and continue to be, to only do the things that like light me up and the things that will, um, give me peace of mind and the things that will make a big impact in humanity.

And as you guys know, I'm on a mission to really. Medical field, uh, to really disrupt the way a D H D is viewed, uh, so that people can realize that mental health. Really important and realizing front and center that our emotions, um, can be used as a compass is, um, I think one of the key things that people are not aware.

And so with that, I want to talk to you about three questions that I always, um, Teach in my A D H D course, and I want you to implement them. Ask them of yourself today so that you can gain so many hours back. Okay? And I'm gonna ask you these questions and I want you to really, they're so simple that you're gonna be like, really?

That's all . But I guarantee you that if you start to apply, You're gonna save at least three hours of your day, at least. Okay. And it will start to add up and you will start to be, um, in alignment with what you want to do. And yes, I know that change sometimes is hard and I know that accountability is one of the ways to really, um, bring it in.

Yeah. And so with that in mind, You know, I want you to be aware that I'm here to help you in any way and. The prize of my course, as you know, is going up. Um, well, they should already gone up. Uh, you know, January 1st I was gonna start charging a 4,500, but I've decided that, you know, I have a D H D too, and I've decided that sometimes we all need a little extension and that un unfortunately, life is not dress rehearsal, but being kind and being human and being generous is the most important thing.

Because, you know, life should be abundant and it should always come back. So because of that, I am going to extend the deadline of my, of, of charging. So instead of, uh, going up to, uh, 4,500, um, which it will go up, , it will go up by, um, February 1st for sure. Um, I want you to use this as an opportunity to invest in yourself.

I wish somebody would've given me this, uh, opportunity when I was a medical student. When I was a a resident. When I was a, an attending, I, obviously, this is why I created the course because nobody told me about it or told me how my A D H D brain works, and every day I see posts that basically say, Help, I'm about to get fired because of my A D H D or people with A D H D are not even aware that there's resources there.

And other colleagues are asking questions on different Facebook groups, um, what they can do to help their colleague out because they have a great personality and they're amazing with their patients, but the administrative stuff is getting in the way. And so I want you to be aware. Our internal environment, um, sometimes mirrors or external environment.

And, and some of you are already getting my emails, and in one of the emails, you know, I wrote about how you can change yourself, but if you don't change the environment, it's kind of hard or you can. Quit and go to a new job, which is essentially changing the environment but not yourself. And it's not gonna change, right?

Like it's not just magically gonna change. You really have to do both. You have to learn about yourself, and you start to implement what you're learning into the. Trial and error systems so that then now they can support you and, and it's, the magic happens when you do both, when you change yourself and you change your environment.

So why am I talking about this? Because again, it goes back to our environment, whether it's physically like how your office is, um, how it flows or it's. You know, if you have a clutter everywhere, it makes you feel like you're not productive, right? And so with that being said, Whether it's these questions that I'm gonna ask you, you can apply to anything and what I'm gonna be bringing up with you today, this is, um, what I use in one of my master in masterclass or workshops that I do, that I've done and I've gotten really great feedback.

So I figured why not share it with the rest of the world. We all need to, uh, be in the, in the same. Start somewhere, right? Progress is always better than perfection. So with that being said, um, the three questions that I ask myself is always number one, is this still useful? It sounds silly, right? But we all get things at some point in our life that we thought it was the best decision.

Maybe that jacket or maybe that dress, or maybe you bought like some fancy silverware or who knows, right? Or uh, so you have to ask yourself, is this still useful? Like would I. Go into the store today and pay anything for it, because I would want to have it again. Yeah. So is it useful? Is it outdated? So you really have to ask yourself that.

Does it still have a purpose in my life? And here's the thing, we're talking about things, but these type of questions you can apply to anything. Like you could apply it to your job. Is my job still useful? Would I choose it again? Is my relationship still useful? Like, I know some relationships you can't really walk away from, right?

Like you can't really walk away from your mother-in-law or from, um, your sister or from, you know, different things like that. Not that I'm saying that any of those are my problem because I love those, but, you know, and coaching clients. I've been asked these questions, they're like, but you know, da da da da da is draining me and the holidays are rough and being critique.

Here's the thing, like when I'm talking about decluttering your life, I am talking about on purpose setting boundaries and knowing. Heartedly what's gonna support you? Right? So would you choose that relationship again with your, with that so-called friend, or you know that it, all they do is call and ask you for X, Y, and Z?

And it seems like it's always one-sided and it's energy draining and consuming, and you feel worse about yourself. Um, or would you on purpose decide? You know, if it's a relationship that you really can't get away with, uh, because again, like it's like a relative or something, you could on purpose decide, Hey, I'm gonna limit the interaction instead of going to spend with them a whole week, I'm just gonna spend with them one or two days.

Or you can't tell them, uh, when you do this, I am gonna do that. And so, you know, I'm very proud of one of my, uh, clients. She shared with us yesterday doing our group coaching. She was able to tell one of her relatives that, while you might do this a certain way, and I do this a certain way, I want you to respect that this is a topic that we do or don't do here and, and I need this from you.

And so she, uh, she was able to, uh, state her boundaries and she said it was a wonderful holiday. So the point is, And I asked her, um, why do you think you were able to set those boundaries and. Necessarily sometimes set those boundaries at work. And you know the answer was the universal answer, which is, well, I know that that person loves me unconditionally and I'm not sure that they love me at work unconditionally, right?

And so here's the thing, like what I said, what if those boundaries are being placed from a, a place of love and from compassion and so respect to yourself so it doesn't, when you're taking care of you. Everything just falls into place. So with that being said, I want you to make sure that you're aware of what the questions are.

So the first one was, is this still serving me a purpose? Right? Would I walk again and buy it? Right. And then the last one is, Can I, can I help somebody else with it? Like, is keeping it gonna give me peace or not? So it's so important that when we are talking about these relationships, we realize that, um, some of us, so the three simple questions like I was saying, are so simple.

The first question is, is it serving? The second question is, do I really want it? And the third question is, is this current or outdated? So again, these three questions seem so simple, but they can really help you to tone in what is important when you ask yourself is, is this serving me? It means, is it giving you more energy?

Is it freeing up your time? Is it being a benefit to you? Right? The other one is, do I really want it? Like, would I choose it again? And the last one, like I said, is the current or outdated because we all have stuff that we've been holding on for for years and years and years, and we might not need it. For example, , I don't know if you have kids or not, but you know, I have a four and a five year old and I've recently was able to, uh, give all my stuff like I still had one, one.

Like a, you know, a crib. I still had a change in station. I still had like the clothes, um, for up to four years of age. And even though I have decluttered multiple times, I was holding onto stuff just in case I had a third child. But what I decided was that, If I do happen to have a third child, that would be amazing and I can acquire this stuff again.

And meanwhile, why not give it to somebody who needs it or, and help them, right? So I say all this because many of us hold onto things and I joke around and I say, you know, I was so grateful when my kids were being body trained that they were not. that they had diapers, right? Because imagine if they were peeing everywhere or pooping everywhere.

But that didn't mean that I was gonna hold onto the diaper forever because I was able to use it. Like the point is, there's certain things that have a chapter in your life and then you need to let go of it. So if you really ask yourself, is this item that maybe you just did the laundry, uh, do I need to put it away or can I give it to somebody else?

It's gonna save you hours of time, because later on. When you are sorting the clothes, the clothes that you have left is only clothes that you have been currently little by little in a system-wise approach have been keeping that currently fit them. You don't have to then spend like a whole two days or something going through other drawers or being frustrated every morning that their clothes no longer fit, right?

So, I really want you to ask yourself, is it serving me? Do I really want it? Is it currently you're updated? If you apply these three questions to anything, like I'm saying, you're gonna get endless hours back and you could ask yourself like, is it really helpful for me to spend five hours doing the laundry a week?

Maybe it's not. Maybe that could be something that you outsource to somebody. What would you do with those five hours? Do I really want to continue doing the laundry? What would it cost me to continue to do the laundry? So I wanted to consider all this and make sure that you're aware that you have opportunity to really change.

And of course, of course. Um, You know that I'm here to support you in any way possible. Again, while this system seems so simple, it is in the group setting, non-judgment, um, supportive environment where, uh, we all can thrive. So, I'm so excited that we are here together. 2023. Keep in. Send me a link, let me know what you want me to talk about, ask me any questions.

And I would love to, uh, create this content around you. Do tune in to next week's episode cuz I am so, so excited about what I'll be talking about. Um, I don't know if you knew until recently, I didn't know that. Um, there's something called the s Luggage, cognitive tempo Disorder. A lot of people confuse that with a D H D, and so I'm so excited to be talking about, uh, how Dr.

Barkley, um, Really, uh, tis those two things out because, uh, the stimulants that you use sometimes are not so helpful. And so if you have somebody who has h ADHD or you yourself have d h D and you're not really finding the right medication, I wanna make sure you have the correct diagnosis and the correct treatment for it.

So, tune in, talk to you soon. Bye. Thank you for spending your time with me. I really believe that time is your most valuable asset. Please subscribe to the podcast, share with your colleagues, and don't forget to check out my website at a D H D dash live. coach.com where you can find out about my upcoming coaching group classes, as well as free masterclass and other exciting events that are happening.