TV & Film:Film Reviews
A super-elite team of hot ladies formulate to take down all of the drugs in the US. Instead they get a high school teacher kidnapped, a teenager shot and possibly killed, ruin a man's salesman career, and watch a man get eaten by a dog all so they can take down roving tampon salesman. Seven From Heaven indeed!
Man, when you line up movies from the late 70s this is strikes all the bells. A hot van with rockets, machine guns and a dirt bike with machine guns on it in the back - check. Busty ladies with no bras kicking ass - check. Drunk Peter Lawford - check. A winded Jack Palance chasing Darby Hinton over patios - check. Explosions, explosions, explosions - check! So why isn't this in the top 10 greatest bad movies ever?
Well...a its PG...weirdly. The opening shootout is like a GI JOE episode; hot lead is flying everywhere but not one person manages to get shot or sploded. There's little left to the imagination with the chests due to very loose shirts and no bras, but there is 0 nudity. Then there's plenty of "comedy" foley work when people jump or punch guys. A little live-action cartooning that we all hate so much. Why did they choose to shoot for PG in a drive-thru movie? The PGness doesn't fit and drops it down a couple stars for sure.
Then there is 2 absolutely unnecessary and boring scenes that account for about 20 minutes (the Nazis and the beach scene). Those are eyeroll-heavy and unfortunate.
Outside of those factors, this thing is hot trash. For its problems, there is a ton more good here to make up for them. It's faults keep it out of the greatest bad movies ever, but it's strengths would have got it in the discussion at least. So this is a must-do from us.
Swamp Thing - Stinker Madness Rerun
Dangerous Men - The Hunt for Black Pepper
Conan the Destroyer - You're Welcome, Zach Snyder
Looker - Stick to advertising, guys
Runaway - Roomba's gone awry!
Radical Jack - Stinker Madness Rerun
DOA - Wait, where's the jiggle physics?
Double Dragon - The Power of Robert Patrick's future hair
Top Gun - aka Third Grade
Iron Eagle - Plane Nonsense
The Demolitionist - Dark Angel or Dark Brain-eating Zombie?
Dirty Dancing Part 2 - Stalking Baby and Her Dad
Dirty Dancing Part 1 - Lawrence Welk's Church and Prostitution Camp
End of Days - The Devil IS the Reject
Stay Tuned - or Just Listen Now
The Ice Pirates - Don't pirate the movie
Steel Dawn - Where does all the meat come from?
Krull - Gun Swords, NOPE!
Night Hunter - How vampires went extinct
Messenger of Death - BLOOD FEUD!!!!!!!
The Deep Dive Podcast with Tom & Manda!
Pop Culture Happy Hour
Kill James Bond!
The Horror Virgin
Black on Black Cinema
Copyright © 2006-2021 Podbean.com