It's never easy controlling the impulse to react in high pressure situations, especially if you feel, often with justification, others are behaving unreasonably.
The skill, which takes time and real persistence to develop, is to find a way to behave rationally, almost in a detached way, seeking positives where less skilled behaviour would not.
Try these three techniques...
Don't attack a position, look behind it.
Don't defend your ideas, invite criticism and advice.
Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem.
A lot more on this and many other free downloads at my website: www.andrewgibbons.co.uk