THIS Happens When YOU PULL AWAY FROM AN AVOIDANT

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Have you ever wondered what really happens when you pull away from a Dismissive Avoidant? It can feel confusing when the person who once shut down suddenly starts to pursue you. This push-pull cycle can be painful, but understanding it is the key to breaking free from games and creating real, lasting connections.

In this episode, Thais Gibson explains why Dismissive Avoidants often re-engage when you step back, the subconscious fears driving this pattern, and how you can respond in a way that honors both your needs and theirs. By learning these dynamics, you’ll gain the clarity to set healthy boundaries, stop repeating cycles, and know when it’s time to walk away.

 

You’ll learn:
✅ Why Dismissive Avoidants feel safer pursuing when you step back
✅ How “feelings minus fears” explains their hot-and-cold cycle
✅ The role of childhood conditioning and trauma in these behaviors
✅ Why pulling away works temporarily—but isn’t a long-term solution
✅ How to find the middle ground between autonomy and intimacy
✅ The importance of setting boundaries, deadlines, and direct communication
✅ How to know if someone is willing (or not) to do the work in a relationship

 

Episode Breakdown:
00:00 – Intro 
00:49 – The Four Attachment Styles
01:46 – Feelings Minus Fears
03:39 – 1. Learn How to Walk the Middle Ground
04:34 – Discover, Embrace, & Fulfill Your Personal Needs Course Promo 
04:54 – 2. Encourage the Other Person to Work on Themselves
06:06 – 3. Set a Deadline
07:10 – 4. Communicate Directly About the Situation
07:58 – Conclusion

 

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

 

Helpful Resources:
🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz
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📚 Read the Learning Love Book
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🎧 Discover MorePodcast Episodes
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📝 Read the PDS Blog
https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ 

 

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#DismissiveAvoidant #FearfulAvoidant #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries

 

When you pull away from a Dismissive Avoidant, their fears of closeness quiet down and their true feelings often reemerge. By understanding this cycle, you can stop playing games, communicate directly, and decide whether the relationship has the potential to grow.