185: She Thinks If She Was Enough, He Wouldn’t Have Watched Pornography (you need to hear this)

2025-02-27

Not Being "Enough": Healing After Sexual Betrayal When a wife discovers her husband's porn use or infidelity, one thought cuts deeper than all others: "I wasn't enough." The pain of betrayal is devastating on its own, but believing it happened because of personal inadequacy makes healing feel impossible. This mistaken belief - that his actions prove something about her worth - becomes the biggest barrier to healing and repair. It's not just about what happened, it's also about what it means about her.

Not Being "Enough": Healing After Sexual Betrayal

When a wife discovers her husband's porn use or infidelity, one thought cuts deeper than all others: "I wasn't enough."

The pain of betrayal is devastating on its own, but believing it happened because of personal inadequacy makes healing feel impossible.

This mistaken belief - that his actions prove something about her worth - becomes the biggest barrier to healing and repair.

It's not just about what happened, it's also about what it means about her.

Today, I'll share a story that could be almost any couple I've worked with as a therapist.

You'll learn specific steps that have helped others move past this crushing belief (and others) and rebuild their connection.

As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important:

Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers.

Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work.

No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do.

Click here for info to work with me directly.

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Get access to my trust building workshop:

Rebuild Trust Workshop

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

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