Communication 3

9-27-19 Friday

 

 

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3 simple ways to better communication: In marriage and life! 

 

1. Don’t fight - once you fight its not about communication its about winning. And you can end up getting pretty dirty when it’s simply about winning. 

If you feel like you are starting to fight… slow down, take a break, go for a walk.

 

No one gets into the Octagon and after they yell “fight” do they try to talk it out… its to late.

so you must first and foremost protect yourselves from getting into the fight mode. 

 

 

2.      Use story pictures.  When you tell a story people listen. When you want your spouse to know you understand tell her a story of how you think she feels from your past.

i.e. She tells you, you never listen to me… and you say, “I am sorry I will start to do better”. 

She says “you always say that”.

You say you know what this reminds me of when I told my Dad all I wanted for Christmas was a new baseball glove, I must have told him a hundred times. On Christmas day I was so excited to open up my new glove… It was ski gloves, actually mittens, and he blew it off and was like “all I could remember was gloves, you should be happy with that”… blah blah blah. And I felt like my Dad didn’t really care at all about me. 

Stories help you feel the other persons side better.

 

 

3. Feel the person before you try to fix or fight off the person. Tap into how you once felt like them. 

I many times have women in my office tell their husbands about times they were harassed or picked on in school… I ask the men what would you do to those people today if they made your wife feel that way? They say some pretty aggressive things… but then I ask them, how do you feel knowing you are making your wife feel like that right now? 

When you feel what the other person feels you lose the angst or the edge to the discussion. Now you just don’t want them to feel like that and the “argument isn’t as important as you thought it was. 

 

are there more ways and ideas to better communicate? Yes, but I think these are crucial for most men. Tell your wives, girlfriends boss employees etc… about them and start to practice them.