How to connect with teens with Elise Knox

If you’re frustrated because your teen refuses to talk to you, wants little to do with you or the rest of family, or snaps at you when you provide guidance, this episode is for you. I’m joined by former middle school teacher turned coach Elise Knox. She shares tips on how to connect with our teens with her three steps to listening without judgment. 

Key Takeaways

• If we haven't healed our past traumas or relationship issues, we project that onto our kids. 
• Be aware of your face, body language, and energy. They pick up on that.
• If you shut them down and judge them enough times, they will stop coming to you.
• CBA of listening
  • Clarity:  What do they need from you? Advice or empathy.
  • Breathe: Open your body language, open your mind, and calm your nervous system, so that you can be that open space for them to come and share
  • Accept: Understand that they're learning how to process things in different ways.
• If you’re shocked by what they say or don’t’ know what to say, ask, “tell me more.” This puts the ball back in their court and gives you time to compose yourself to process whatever they've said.
• Beware of futurecasting, which is thinking if they’re doing this now, they’ll always do it. They're never going to get a job. They’re never going to talk to me again.
• Parenting teens can feel isolating. See outside support and help. You’re not alone.

 

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• Elise’s free communication guide: https://www.eliseknox.com/communication 
• Dr. Cam’s Top 10 Secrets for Raising Teens: www.askdrcam.com/parentingtips

 

Thanks for Listening!

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