16: I Feel Lonely and Disconnected. What Can I Do About It?

In this episode, we explore the pathway to connection and leaning into vulnerability in order to feel less alone and more fulfilled in our relationships.

Nearly 60% of the US adult population reports feeling lonely on a regular basis. Loneliness may be a huge public health threat regarding the impact it has on our minds and bodies.

In thinking about the causes of loneliness, I think that America’s value of rugged individualism in addition to social media, technology, and busyness are all contributing factors. We often don’t have time or make time for connection and when we do, it is shallow.

It takes spending both quality and quantity time with people to really build relationship, to trust, and to know the ins and outs of one another’s lives. For those of us who were in college pre-iPhone, think back to your days at university. If you had a core group of friends, you likely spent tons of time studying, making food, exercising, and just hanging out with one another. This led to closeness and deep connection.

While adulthood already presents challenges to this type of relationship because of increasing responsibilities and less dedicated time, I think the iPhone, streaming services like Netflix, and technology at large has made us even more distant and less connected to our neighbors and community members. Social media also paints idyllic pictures of the avatar that people want to present to the world- a polished version of oneself. Consequently, we are often comparing our insides to others’ outsides and are even less likely to be open and vulnerable with others. And, without quality time and trust, it is even less likely that we will be vulnerable in the relationships that we do have.

I believe that one of the anecdotes to this is being more real and honest about the things that are happening in our lives and who we are. It takes courage to be vulnerable or to be the first person to say, “I am struggling.” Or, “This hard thing is happening.” But when it is met with compassion and connection, we feel less alone, more connected, happier, and healthier.

Today’s episode on A Mental Health Podcast, Between the Two of Us, explores the power of vulnerability in our relationships. It can be found on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Resources:

Brené Brown's Ted Talk, The Power of Vulnerability