1 Nephi 07 You Can Summon Turtles, Oh Sh**

Joe has some technical issues with his audio on this episode. If you are an audiophile, Joe’s audio is going to drive you crazy. It may be worth skipping, but you may lose out on building your testimony. Joe and Smith strive to be your number one source for information on the heights of the hosts from the British TV show Top Gear. Smith returns and reports on the Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022). Joe does the same with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (1999), which was fabulous. The guys talk about how they still find themselves defending the church sometimes. They also point out how their criticisms of the church are likely not as strong as someone who is an expert in that sort of thing. Joe and Smith used to believe (and teach) that the church was run by an unpaid “lay” ministry, but they later found out that was not true. The guys pitch each other some ideas for Utah MMJ dispensary names. 

1 Nephi Chapter 7 casually mentions a guy named Ishmael as if we’ve known about him the whole time. One fact about Ishmael is that he was a fan of breakdancing. Nephi gets preachy with his brothers. He really comes off as a dickhead in this chapter, unfortunately empowering faithful dickheads all over the church. Was Laban’s murder the origin story of Nephi as a supervillain? Smith remembers a time that he summoned a turtle, this time from his childhood. 

Music Provided by Eric VanAusdal with permission from the artist. 

The Book of Mormon is publicly available at churchofjesuschrist.org

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