In Which We Discuss:
1. Brent Mulder and Lila Scully offer their take on the Malaysia Air alien conspiracy
2. Winston Clinton eyes Adolf Putin’s plans to re-Sovietize the Russian border
3. BERNIE! It’s happening.
4. CPAC offers answers to an America struggling with a disastrous clown shortage
5. Democrats’ subpar basic math skills to cause yet another Obamacare delay
6. Kirsten Gillibrand assembles the greatest/weirdest coalition ever know
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