258 Pursuing Creative Endeavors While Mothering with Liz Bell Young

258. Pursuing Creative Endeavors and Making Havens While Mothering with Liz Bell Young

 

Matthew 13:52 "Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like the head of a household, who brings out of his treasure things that are new and fresh and things that are old and familiar."

 

**Transcription Below**

 

Questions and Topics We Cover:

1. Will you tell us about your journey to becoming the creator of Haven magazine, which was distributed by Anthropologie and also how you were selected to be a contributor to the Magnolia Journal?
2. What have you learned about wisely overlapping mothering and pursuing dreams?
3. How does writing and sharing stories help us to take good care of one another?

 

Liz Bell Young is a writer, experience designer and collaborator in the Midwest. Her work appears in Magnolia Journal on the shelves, Artifact Uprising and Darling on the sites, Procter & Gamble in the studios, and Woman Camp in the woods.

 

A grad of The School of the Art Institute of Chicago + University of Cincinnati, LBY takes a multidisciplinary approach to her work and home. Favorite pairings: words on index cards, words next to rolling film, words covering real paper inside real books. She also adores rocks, oyster shells, the smell of hay and gasoline, old Austrian boots, coffee in small cups. But above all: her life with Ryan and their children.

 

Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank

 

Other Episodes on The Savvy Sauce Related to Hospitality, Mothering, and Pursuing Creative Endeavors:

1 Finding Your Purpose as a Mom with Courtney DeFeo

9 Self-Care in Motherhood with Karen Stubbs

13 Managing Family, Career, and Health with Leslie Neslage

15 The Supernatural Power Present While Gathering at the Table with Devi Titus

43 Joys and Challenges of Motherhood with Podcaster and Author, April Hoss

46 Encouragement and Inspiration for your Motherhood Journey with Anjuli Paschall

57 Implementing Bite-Size Habits That Will Change Your Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Speaker, Kat Lee

67 Thriving at Work, Home, and Life with Author, Blogger, Podcaster, and Business Owner, Crystal Paine

75 Responding to God’s Stirring with Elizabeth Pehrson, Founder of The Exchange

168 Experiencing Joy, Connection, and Nourishment at the Table with Abby Turner

178 Fresh Take on Hospitality with Jaime Farrell

202 Simple Ways to Connect with Our Kids And Enjoy Breaks with Beth Rosenbleeth (Days with Grey)

223 Journey and Learnings as Former Second Lady of the United States with Karen Pence

 

Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website

 

 

Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and subscribing to this podcast!

 

Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)

 

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

 

Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

 

Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” 

 

Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” 

 

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

 

Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

 

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

 

Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

 

Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

 

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

 

Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.”

 

Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”

 

Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“

 

Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“

 

Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

**Transcription**

 

Music: (0:00 – 0:09)

 

Laura Dugger: (0:10 - 1:24)

Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Duggar, and I'm so glad you're here. 

 

Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank who paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness.

 

Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at MidwestFoodBank.org. 

 

Liz Bell Young is my kind guest for today. She is an artist and an extremely gifted writer, and I just love the title of her book, Let There Be Havens: An Invitation to Gentle Hospitality.

 

So, she's going to share stories and offer practical tips for fostering creativity. She's going to talk about attuning to the Holy Spirit in our lives so that we can take good care of one another. And she also offers out-of-the-box ideas for genuine hospitality that creates a haven to offer others.

 

Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Liz.

 

Liz Bell Young: (1:25 - 1:28)

Thank you, Laura. It is really good to be here with you.

 

Laura Dugger: (1:29 - 1:48)

Well, I would love to just begin here because early on in your book, there was a line that grabbed me when you wrote, “I was raised to show love for others through action, not just in theory.” So, will you start there and elaborate and share more about that?

 

Liz Bell Young: (1:49 - 3:56)

Sure, sure. I have this little part in the book. It's titled; My Dad Gave It Away.

 

And so, I'll just tell that little story because I think it's pretty representative of how things ended up playing out. But I got home from school one day and my dollhouse was not at home anymore. It was gone.

 

And I just stood in front of it and, you know, I was so sad. Where's my dollhouse? One of my dad's co-workers had had a horrible house fire.

 

And so, during the day, my dad had picked a few things from the house that he thought would bless this family, who also had a little girl. And I, as soon as I understood what had happened, you know, I felt I was very okay with that. I was, I grieved my dollhouse, but I thought, you know, when you, when you have something to give to someone who has just lost, you know, they lost really everything that it is, it's so important to do.

 

And so, my, my dad and my mom were very, very love and action people. You know, probably even more than we talked about it. It was just a lot of, you know, somebody has low air in their tires and my dad's filling it up.

 

Somebody needs counsel and they take the time to give it. My mom had a friend who was blind. And so, we would spend time like organizing her, her clothing closets and her dishes just so that she could get through.

 

She was an attorney, but just help her like get through her day a little bit more easy. So, they were very aware of people's needs. And we learned that sometimes like that was at cost to us, you know, giving away something that we actually still could have used or taking the time to go and, you know, paint someone's house when really we wished that we could have gone to the amusement park, you know, things like that.

 

That, that was their love and action, you know it really affected all of us, I think in a big way. I have three sisters.

 

Laura Dugger: (3:56 - 4:40)

So, I love that because it's the same setup for our family. We have four daughters. And so that was your book.

 

But I think that example that you gave just reminds me of scripture. I was reminded of recently from 1 John 3:18, that just says, “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.” So, it's apparent that you were raised in really good soil with parents who lived and shared this way of life, and they shared the good news of Jesus with you.

 

But when and how did you make your faith your own and choose to personally follow Christ?

 

Liz Bell Young: (4:41 - 6:02)

Oh, so if I had to pinpoint a time, I would say it was like a summer camp. I think I was 11 or 12. You know, that often happens, I think, like when you're removed from your environment.

 

I was just at night standing next to a lake with a counselor and I just, I'd already, I already knew God. I had always sort of felt His voice and presence and whispers. And I also felt familiar with, you know, the enemy's voice.

 

And I was very aware, you know, I think when you're a really sensitive child sometimes, which I was, you can kind of feel the weight of the spiritual realm. And so, you know, it was a very gradual, I think, thing turning fully to the Lord. But that I do remember that moment at camp where I just was like, I want this always, I want the fullness of this.

 

And I want to just completely, I just felt so completely in love with Jesus. And I was just like, very, like, lean forward, eager, you know, for that. So, but of course, you know, it's, it's a, it's a process.

 

There was, there were highs and valleys and all over the place along the way, but that's kind of where it took off.

 

Laura Dugger: (6:03 - 6:34)

That is really helpful. Even thinking of sensitive children, maybe that resonates with some of us as parents, you've kind of put language around what we may be experiencing. But then just going back further into your story, you're a graduate of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.

 

And I'd love to hear some more about the lessons you learned there. So, what are just a couple of stories that stand out from that season of life that ended up shaping you?

 

Liz Bell Young: (6:35 - 8:51)

Oh, I, it was a really formative time. I actually just, I did my undergrad in social work. And so this was actually graduate school, because I'd always wanted to be a writer or an artist of some sort.

 

And so finally, after, you know, I took some time off in between undergrad and graduate school, got back and went to the Art Institute. And one of the, the huge moments for me, it's funny for other people, it would have been like just a nothing moment. But we were, I was in a drawing class, we were doing large format charcoal.

 

And I'm working on a portrait, and I was working like really tediously on the nose. And my professor came up behind me and said, it's a really pretty nose. Is that what you see?

 

And I looked at it, and I realized I'm drawing from what I've been told a nose should look like from what I've seen from it's, she's like, I think as a writer, because, you know, I was just taking art classes, but primarily there's writers, she's like, I think as a writer, you understand that, like, you don't want to fall into cliche, but what you're doing here is, is a cliche. And so, what you haven't done is you haven't put any of the reality in it, there were no twists and turns, no shadow, barely any. And it looked pretty and commercial.

 

But it was not, I had not learned like the transparency of an artist yet. I'm starting to learn it with writing, but I had not learned it with a visual. And I often think about that, because, you know, as a creative, or even as a as a mother, as you know, whatever you do, I think it's very easy to just fall into the routine of what you think is the most acceptable, or what you think it's supposed to be like, or look like.

 

And getting, getting to that, like honest transparency, whether as a creative, or, you know, whatever you're doing, I think is so freeing, but it really took someone to point out where I was like, where I was not free.

 

Laura Dugger: (8:52 - 9:21)

Wow, that's so helpful. Art just unlocks all kinds of things within us. So that's a really helpful example.

 

And this next question, I guess, kind of comes from two angles. So first, was creativity encouraged in the home you grew up in? And then also now, as a mother, how have you cultivated an atmosphere in your home, where all of the family members are free to create?

 

Liz Bell Young: (9:24 - 11:22)

Yes, we, and I don't want to paint an idyllic childhood, because we certainly had hard points in all of this. But my mom was an art teacher, and my dad is a very, like, inventive engineer type person. So, and yet, they're very organized and orderly people.

 

So it was sort of this funny contrast of like, free spirit mixed with like, responsibility, you know. And so, we were allowed to sit on the counter and make up a cake recipe while my mom was making dinner, big art pieces on the driveway, we could make spontaneous choices to put up a fort under the kitchen table. So, there was a lot of like, creative flexibility in the house.

 

And then at the end of the day, we had to clean up like it wasn't, it wasn't like a without regulation or without responsibility to take care of the things that you own. And so I think that's what I've tried to, you know, give to our children is just like, this spirit of invent things, try things, mix things together. We did homeschool for a little bit, turns out I wasn't a great homeschool teacher.

 

It was very difficult for me. I thought it would be fun, but I just wanted to, you know, do art and play all day. So, I kind of missed the other stuff.

 

But you know, but during that time, like, you know, getting to make maps on the driveway and put rocks and sticks in places, like all of that was like, really taken from my childhood and like, you know, what I wanted to give to give our kids and still recognize like those, those boundaries of like, you know, then when we're working or, you know, I'm working in the house, like I need you to be quiet. So again, and like, not like the free for all, but still a lot of free.

 

Laura Dugger: (11:23 - 12:06)

Well, and it makes me think of one of your quotes on page 104. I just thought this was really helpful because everybody were made in the creator's image. So, there is some creativity in each of us, but you said in the design process, it does wonders to make a physical mood board.

 

I realized maybe I was struggling because I had only made word lists and digital mock-ups. What I actually needed was to make the process physical. So then when I read that, my question for you, Liz, is how can we actually make that creative process physical and help our children to do the same?

 

Liz Bell Young: (12:08 - 14:27)

Yeah. Well, I, I, I really do love physicality. I think I, I got to the point where I was working so much that I just kind of got stuck on this screen a little bit too often.

 

So the, what I was talking about in the book is when we were did like designing and building a house that we're now in. And I was really, you know, it was just so much it was, yeah, it was pretty bound to screens and spreadsheets and lists, like trying to like get it all organized. And I just felt like I couldn't it wasn't cohesive.

 

I couldn't feel it. I had to experience it. And so that's just when I, you know, began to make it physical.

 

And I think it's important, like you know, a lot of just, if you just think about the design world or interior design, a lot of people will do this. It's like, you know, you put your piece of tile next to the piece of carpet next to the, which I think is wonderful. But then what I recognize is if it's, if it stops there, it's, that's actually not representative of what it's going to be like.

 

And so, what we need to have is like the parts of our lives that that is getting added to. And so, putting in like, I mean, I just started adding in the stuff that's like always around our house. Lots of paper, of course, because I just love paper, kids homework, you know, little clay pots, the things that we that we bring to it.

 

So, it didn't feel like a sterile environment. So that, that was that whole like physicality and live into something. And it was literally just out, you know, on a table.

 

Unfortunately, it was our kitchen table. And I kept it out for way too long. So, we had to eat around it.

 

But yeah, I think that that's really helpful, especially for children, too. I don't, this isn't quite the parallel, but I was thinking like, you know, a lot like when you have teenagers, like I have a son who plays basketball, we, we have the best conversations when we're playing basketball together. And so just like being physical, like while we're in conversation versus just this, like, I'm trying to talk to you about this, you know, that's been really helpful for us parenting teens.

 

Laura Dugger: (14:28 - 16:26)

Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need.

 

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Midwest Food Bank supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa, which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty. This ministry reaches millions of people every year. And thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need.

 

The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, cost of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank. To learn more, visit midwestfoodbank.org or listen to episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce, where the founder, David Kieser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. I hope you check them out today. 

 

Even back to just a small thing that also came into mind. I loved how you said physically you would bring nature into your home for designing.

 

And if you didn't have access to a flower, you would grab something green in the backyard. And it just had never occurred to me that I could do that and just grab some leaves or a branch. And you even have pictures of that beautiful example in your book.

 

Liz Bell Young: (16:27 - 16:39)

Oh, yes. I love cutting branches off trees and bringing them inside, mostly because I forget to plant flowers. And so, like, I don't, you know, I could buy them, but I love branches inside.

 

Laura Dugger: (16:40 - 17:03)

Such a creative idea. But you've gone on to have some pretty remarkable experiences in your career. So, will you tell us about your journey to becoming the creator of Haven Magazine, which was distributed by Anthropologie, and then also how you were selected to be a contributor to the Magnolia Journal?

 

Liz Bell Young: (17:05 - 20:59)

Oh, sure. At some point, either I read it or somebody taught me this, I can't remember, about, like, making something that you want to make before you're asked to make it. And so, as a young writer, you know, I didn't have a portfolio.

 

I didn't have anything impressive. I'm trying to just, like, get into something with a pub, just something published, you know, that's not just, you know, me stapling a book together. And it was, you know, it was very difficult.

 

I mean, trying to get into travel or food writing, you know, anything, and it's just, like, rejection, rejection. And so, I just decided then, well, I have to make it. I have to figure out a way to create it myself.

 

And I had talented friends who were also trying to, you know, get published or get their photography out or art, whatever it was. And so, just getting that group of people together with this vision for what I wanted Haven Magazine to be, and then just doing the work ahead of time. Nobody asked for it.

 

Nobody wanted it. And found somebody who believed in the vision for it, who would, like, donate paper at cost. You know, so, like, we found some things to make it, like, a lighter financial lift, for sure.

 

And that was the beginning. So, that, and then I forget. My husband uses a word for this that I, it's not like, I don't know, grit or gumption.

 

I, like, I love challenge. I love trying to get something that feels nearly impossible, and any side door, just trying, trying, trying. And so, that's how, like, getting into anthropology did take a long time.

 

I can't even think about, maybe two years, a year and a half. And when I finally got the first one that I made through the door, and I had somebody looking at it who, you know, had clout, had the ability to make decisions, their feedback to me was, you're on to something really beautiful here, but I think that you're actually not following, like, I think you're trying, it was, again, like, the nose in art school. I was making something that I thought, okay, this is what people want right now, except it was a little bit more about, kind of, wanderlust, and travel, and that sort of thing.

 

And the woman on the phone was like, I think your heart is actually really about home. And so, are you afraid to take it there? And she said, you need to also just get better.

 

Like, I needed to, as a publication, like, I had to tighten things that, like, it wasn't, it wasn't on par with something that they would sell. And so, I did those two things. I was like, okay, well, then we have to do it again.

 

This one was at higher cost, you know, didn't get the donated paper this time. And my husband and I were just like, let's just do it. It feels like it's a good direction.

 

And so, the second one is the one that Anthropology distributed. And I'm very thankful that they pushed me as hard as they did, because a lot of times, you're just experimenting and trying something, and you have to go through these refining processes. You have to be humble enough to be like, okay, I recognize, you're right, that's not good enough for your shelf.

 

And it wasn't even like she challenged me, it wasn't where it was like trying to go, you know, or she didn't say this, but maybe it's that probably wasn't going in the direction that my heart and where God was pushing me wanted it to go. So, being willing to, you know, change direction a little bit with it and, and work hard to get after it. So, that was that part.

 

Yeah.

 

Laura Dugger: (21:00 - 21:24)

Yes. And before you share about Magnolia Journal, just to comment on that, I think as believers, that probably deeply resonates with all of us that we all are so eagerly anticipating coming home, like with a capital H to having, and so even displaying that in your magazine. I love that she pushed you as well, but then yes, continue with the rest of the journey.

 

Liz Bell Young: (21:26 - 23:49)

Okay. So, then I worked at a church for about 11 years, and that was a huge process of just getting, just getting more, just getting better as a writer. You know, I had done a school, but I needed practice and, and worked with a lot of designers.

 

So, I was getting this kind of multidisciplinary background built up. So, helping with set design, helping with video, so kind of, you know, the fullness of storytelling. But of course, primarily, I still, writing was my number one love.

 

And then I, after 11 years working for this church, I just, I was finished. I knew I was finished and I had been freelancing a lot on the side. So, I've always loved to be kind of in different places, not just all, you know, kind of in one spot.

 

And just decided to go for it and just go full freelance. And I was really nervous, very, very nervous because I, I loved, I really amazing creatives that I was working at, really great spiritual leaders. And so, to walk away from that and just think like, am I just going to be by myself?

 

Like trying to, you know, meld into other teams, whoever, whoever my clients are. So, it was like, I was nervous, but I also felt like it was the right time to do it. And then very soon after that, an editor from Magnolia reached out.

 

They just happened to be looking for someone to write a story about camping. And I had been a big part of creating a camping experience for the church I was working for. And like, because I had been in anthropology where some of the people from Magnolia now worked.

 

So, there, you know, again, it was just like relationship stuff that put my work in front of a person who didn't know me. And then, you know, they had a topic that they thought, well, who do we have who knows about, you know, writing about the outdoors and camping? Oh, I heard that there's this woman in Ohio, right?

 

So, that's, they, and then they just asked me to write a story. And I wrote that one and then just kept writing. So, it's been years now.

 

Laura Dugger: (23:50 - 25:00)

I love that. So, fun to hear the backstory. But in the midst of building your career, you and your husband, Ryan, also have raised three children.

 

And again, I just want to quote you. So, on page 56, you write, “I knew I could not be a singularly focused person. I have no desire to be a solitary novelist. I want to be right in the middle of all my people, heart full and available, hands designing books, but also packing lunches. So, on some days I worked and some mornings I wrote. Then on other days, Ryan and I would drive our kids to a farm and pick blueberries and eat cider doughnuts.”

 

And I just love that. It was so relatable, especially to fellow moms who maybe are also squeezing in their own side career or creative endeavor while also raising children. And so, my question from your story is this, what have you learned about wisely overlapping, mothering, and pursuing dreams?

 

Liz Bell Young: (25:02 - 28:40)

I don't, well, oh my goodness. This, it was true trial and error, and I still am making errors. But I think that, you know, it's hard.

 

It's definitely hard because there's a lot of just internal struggle in that, right? Like, I have this artist passion and heart. And so, I want to be, to, you know, work in that space.

 

And I don't want my kids to feel like I'm choosing that over them. And I know that it's also very good for them to be a part of that, to see it come to fruition. I think I learned a little bit by taking it too far, maybe a lot bit by taking it too far.

 

And I don't know how to necessarily avoid that. I think, I didn't know what too far was for me. I was getting sort of more and more sleep deprived without quite recognizing that I was starting to, like, sacrifice my health.

 

I was starting to, you know, get kind of that dizzy vertigo stuff that can happen with stress, but you don't know it's stress. Or I didn't. I just thought, okay, I'm tired.

 

I need a break. But it was hard. It was hard to stop.

 

I just wanted to fit everything in. So, I think I took it too far and then I recognized, okay, this is what too far feels like. And so, now, I have to be way better to protect my health, my, our marriage, just to make, you know, just, like, we wanted time for that.

 

I was, like, you know, books aren't more important than Ryan. And so, I used to do things, like, whenever the client wanted a meeting, I would just take it. Now, what I've learned is, like, I will not overpack things.

 

I will make sure that it works for our schedule. And just putting, that was a big one for me. Because I'd be, like, super sweaty trying to take a Zoom call while I'm at a park with three, you know, like, it doesn't work.

 

Or it didn't work for me. And so, I had to learn, like, don't, like, I would set myself up for failure a little bit. And so, just reining that in and kind of having better boundaries about that.

 

Still getting the sleep I needed. But I create best in the morning. And so, saying, like, okay, for this season, I will get up really early in the because I want this a lot.

 

And then I want to be able to have breakfast with my kids. And so, I just, you know, made that adjustment. So, yeah.

 

I guess that's the trial and error piece. But I do think if you, like, I also have friends who have not, who have put it all aside. And so, then that's very hard.

 

I think sometimes, especially when their kids are all in school or, you know, like, they're empty nesters or whatever. And then, like, you haven't had, you haven't had the chance to be, like, practicing in that and exploring that. And so, then there's this sort of loss and grief felt.

 

So, I think it's good even if it's just, like, dabbling in it. If that's a part of who you are, and creativity, or it doesn't just have to be creativity, of course. Whatever it is, if you can at least maybe just dabble, I think it's really good.

 

Laura Dugger: (28:41 - 29:05)

I think that's helpful. That's a message of freedom that gives us permission. And that it's not selfish to do that.

 

It can actually be really wise stewardship. I'm curious, too, what have your children said? Have they given any feedback or appreciation even of seeing you pursue your dreams and be all in with the family?

 

Liz Bell Young: (29:06 - 29:55)

Oh, that's a good question. I didn't used to really bring them into what I was doing and why I was doing it. I don't know why I didn't earlier.

 

I have since, like, now they're also, like, older and can comprehend more of it now. I've since kind of just brought them more into, this is what I'm doing, and this is why I care about writing this story. This is why this book matters to me, or why I'm helping someone else with their project.

 

And that has been better. I would include them, like, sometimes they would help me make stuff, or sell stuff, or deliver things. So, they were a part of that piece of it, but not, like, the sort of the heart and mind piece of it.

 

Laura Dugger: (29:56 - 30:03)

That's helpful. So, you brought them in where possible. I wonder if any of them will, even in some ways, follow in your footsteps.

 

Liz Bell Young: (30:05 - 30:29)

Yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I don't know.

 

I think it's, well, it's just fun to watch them. I know you, you know, with your girls, you probably feel the same way. And trying not to, like, over shape them, but just, like, create the space for them to try the things that they, you know, that they feel the direction that it's toward.

 

Laura Dugger: (30:29 - 32:27)

Yes. When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast?

 

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Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you. Well, I just want to draw one other point, too, that you talk about in your book.

 

When you talk about a woman with a pen, and that deeply resonated with me. And I see the power of a person with a pen because the written word is clearly such a gift, obviously, with God preserving the Bible for us. But in the Bible, the person with a pen can be described as a scribe.

 

And it makes me think of this scripture from Matthew 13:52, where Jesus says, “Therefore, every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like the head of the household who brings out of his treasure things that are new and fresh and things that are old and familiar.” So, that's where my mind goes when I read your beautiful words, Liz. But I want to hear your unique take on this.

 

So, how does writing and sharing stories help us to even take good care of one another?

 

Liz Bell Young: (32:29 - 35:10)

I love that scripture that you just read, too. I think that when you decide to write that way, because I even talk about it in my journey as a writer, I wasn't always doing that. I could feel, I sort of had this melancholic spirit at times, especially in my 20s.

 

And I felt like I was actually pushing into places that I didn't want to be. And so, I thought, why am I bringing a reader there? Or writing in a way that I think stories can also be so sort of self-focused or insulated into that they're actually not offering generous space for the reader.

 

So, I think about that a lot. I think about how stories can take care of people. I mean, they're just like little portals or doorways into connection, whether it's because somebody relates to a thing that happened.

 

Like sometimes I think it can be that specific, but sometimes it's just, that's exactly how I felt. And I didn't know how to articulate it. I have this story that felt so big to me, but really small.

 

I didn't even know if I should put it in the book, but it was just about breaking a carton of eggs when I was babysitting and the shame that the parents walked in and saw the eggs all over the floor. And it was just horrible for me. Really small thing that happened that could seem really trivial to one person.

 

But then what it really was just about was shame and then grace for yourself and believing that you, you know, what, believing in your worth. And so that's where the story ends. It's real short.

 

It's like a page. Well, all my stories are short, I think. But I shared that story for some reason has been the one that most people have come back and said, I needed that story.

 

They didn't break a carton of eggs, but they knew that, that sense, that depth of shame. And so that's where I think stories can take care of people and then taking it to a place of hope and forgiveness and leaving enough white space, even metaphorically, for someone to enter into that story is something that I think about for taking care of someone.

 

Laura Dugger: (35:11 - 36:02)

That's so good. And it makes me think at our church on Wednesday nights, I'm in the room with second through fifth grade girls and our theme verse two verses from Psalm 78 verses four and seven, just talking about sharing stories with the next generation and ultimately about God's power and his righteous deeds. But I think that is such a way to take care of the next generation.

 

Stories are powerful. We see that in Jesus. And I was so blessed by all of your stories.

 

So again, your book is entitled, Let There Be Havens: An Invitation to Gentle Hospitality. So, let's kind of shift gears. And will you explain and define what a haven is and just hear a little bit more about hospitality and creating havens?

 

Liz Bell Young: (36:03 - 38:13)

Oh, sure. It kind of took me a minute to figure this out because I had a sense of what I wanted and thought that a haven and taking care of people was. And the way I describe it in the book is that it's people who shelter us, places that hold us and experiences that lift us up.

 

So, when I think about hospitality and taking care of people and just being like a little cove for someone, maybe it's so temporary because it's just, you know, passing on the street and it's something that you can do, or maybe it's something more permanent, you know, like the relationship you have with your children. And I think of it as like gentle and grounding. So, it's not over the top or forced or rigid, or it's not putting myself in the spotlight.

 

I think a lot of times hospitality and the pressures that come with it are because we've been sort of accumulating this message that it's a performance. And so, I think that gentle hospitality or havens is when you're just creating spaces for people, whether it's physical or emotional, and they feel easy in that space. They feel safe.

 

They feel like the grounding part is just, you know, it's a step outside the wild waters or the chaos of other things that are happening. It gives a chance to catch your breath, feel cheered for, loved by someone. And so that's what I see a haven as.

 

And the picture that I have in my mind, which I took a picture out in California that I put in the book, and it's just this rocky coast, but it just has that swoop of a cove, and the waters are quieter there. And I mean, you know, 10 feet away, it's not quiet, but just right there, there's a pause. It's a safe, easy place.

 

And so that's what I think of for haven.

 

Laura Dugger: (38:15 - 38:21)

And what are a few practical ways that you've created havens in your own life?

 

Liz Bell Young: (38:26 - 40:53)

I've always, well, I did want to open a little hotel when I was little. So, I always loved thinking about like overnight spaces for people. So, we really, that's, that is a very, that's sort of the obvious, I think, kind of in my mind of like, what is like creating a literal space?

 

We've had to do it on couches and in a van, like we haven't always had a guest room. Right now we do. But just like being resourceful and trying to think of like, what's a way to make someone feel like really taken care of in this space?

 

Like bring a lamp and a coffee maker, even if it's on a couch, give them a stack of books that you think that they would love and that sort of thing. So that's, that would be a haven in my mind. I think, and I learned this in social work actually, but where you like when you're with someone, okay, this is a little bit more of sort of being an emotional, but physical presence haven is like, I try not to top someone else's emotions.

 

So, like if they're really upset or they're grieving, instead of just like meeting them or even like going above it, like just to be more like just with them and hang out like a little bit under that. Like, again, it's not, it's not about you. It's about the company, you know, that you keep with someone.

 

So just being next to someone, holding onto their arm when they're grieving. I, and I've had great examples of this, but like you can tell someone awkward or alone and you just go and you just go next to them. You don't draw attention to it.

 

You just become present. Holding the doors for people. This is a big thing for my parents.

 

Like, oh, we always must hold doors for people. And the part that I, that then someone, another mentor taught me was just to like delight in people's presence. So, when somebody does come in, whether you know them or not, whether it's a child or your husband, but you've already seen him 10 minutes ago, but like still like beaming on, on them because you love that they're there and that they're with you and that they're here, you know, on earth.

 

And so, I think, you know, beaming is a big one for me, for taking care and showing hospitality. Yeah.

 

Laura Dugger: (40:54 - 41:08)

That's so good. I love that word. And what are some other tips for ways that all of us can take care of the people in our lives and help them to feel known and cherished and treasured?

 

Liz Bell Young: (41:08 - 42:51)

Oh, well, I'm sure if I was in your Sunday school class, if I was a second through fifth grade, I would feel exactly this because I think like, um, again, like you're just giving, you're giving those girls like your heart and attention for that 45 minutes or hour. And you know, you're getting, um, you're getting like eye to eye with them. And like you said, sharing stories and just like being concerned with them as children, as people.

 

And so that I think it's, I don't want to like make it more than it is. I think, I think that's been part of the problem with like the sort of the pressure of like, how can I be like the best caretaker or like the, like a really great hostess. And I think like the very first thing is just the position of your heart and just connecting to someone and they're telling a story and you listen to it instead of just trying to trump their story with your own, you know, or, um, giving someone something that, you know, that they would love, you know, that, that simple.

 

Um, and so it's just, I guess that's just paying attention, Laura, right? Like just paying attention to people and what would even just give them a moment of reprieve or a moment of joy, a moment of inclusion and trying to like follow, um, I mean, the Holy spirit will nudge the heck out of you, you know, so you can like listening to the Holy spirit and then like listening to people. And I think that that, um, it really brings you into that space of, of genuine and gentle hospitality.

 

Laura Dugger: (42:52 - 44:11)

Well, in genuine and gentle, those are some great words to describe even how I experience you as a writer. And I'll just share one more of my favorite practical tips that you listed for ways to take care of people, I guess, because I've been a recipient of this and it instantly made me think of my own dear mom, who I adore. And she has just rocked mothering since the baby phase.

 

And even as we're adults now, I don't know how she does it, but she just loves so well and every season. And so, I thought of her when you said on page 28, a way to show how to take care of others. You write help a friend or sibling with a couple things on their to-do list.

 

Jump starts are huge gifts. And I just thought, wow, practically like thinking of being a young mother and having my mom come along and give a jump start. Those times, you know, still impact us today.

 

And what a great example. So, your book is full of ideas like this. And so, if anybody wants to pick up their own copy or continue learning ways that they can also create havens, where would you direct all of us to go after this conversation, Liz?

 

Liz Bell Young: (44:11 - 44:58)

Oh, well, thanks for asking. I think the book is the best place, partly because I'm pretty quiet on social media. And I just can't find my rhythm there.

 

But maybe just because I love books so much, but I really try to give everything that I could think of to these specific pages. And so, I mean, you can buy it on Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, you know, all the book places. Magnolia will be selling it, I think, or it might be for sale there right now.

 

And yeah, that's it. And I have a website, lizbellyoung.com. So, if you want to visit me there too.

 

Laura Dugger: (44:58 - 45:23)

Wonderful. Yes, we can add that link in the show notes. But that is wonderful.

 

And congrats. That's so exciting being sold all those places. You may be familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or insight.

 

And so, as my final question for you today, Liz, what is your Savvy Sauce?

 

Liz Bell Young: (45:26 - 46:20)

I think it's calm. I was thinking about how I have learned even because I love to solve problems and try to figure things out. And if I can even do that with a calm spirit, even if I have to work fast and hard, but if I can have that calmness or Megan Fate has a book, Relaxed, which I haven't even read yet, but I'm excited to because I think it's this similar note where, you know, I think it's the way that Jesus like literally lived was just in this relaxed and calm state.

 

And so that's I've always loved calm and very drawn to it, people who are calm. And I think it's what I try to embody myself.

 

Laura Dugger: (46:21 - 46:54)

I've gotten to be the recipient of that calm and relaxed posture from you today, but you're also so thoughtful of others and gentle and talented. And I'm leaving this chat so encouraged with the way that you've stepped into your unique design by our creator. And I just pray it inspires all of us to delight ourselves in the Lord and allow him to give us the desires of our hearts.

 

So, thank you very much, Liz, for being my guest today.

 

Liz Bell Young: (46:55 - 47:02)

Thank you, Laura. It was great to be with you. It really was.

 

I'm so glad I got to talk to you. Likewise.

 

Laura Dugger: (47:03 – 50:46)

One more thing before you go. Have you heard the term gospel before?

 

It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you. But it starts with the bad news.

 

Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there is absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.

 

We need a savior. But God loved us so much, he made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.

 

That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus.

 

We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished if we choose to receive what He has done for us. Romans 10:9 says, “That if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” So, would you pray with me now?

 

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life?

 

We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

 

If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me, so me for him. You get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason.

 

We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you ready to get started? First, tell someone.

 

Say it out loud. Get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes & Noble and let me choose my own Bible.

 

I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. You can start by reading the book of John. Also, get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ.

 

I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps, such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. We want to celebrate with you too, so feel free to leave a comment for us here if you did make a decision to follow Christ. We also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.

 

And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “In the same way I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.

 

And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.