Hallmark Lesbians: Don’t Let Them Eat Cake

The Hallmark Channel is famous for its loving take on life.  It's the feel good channel with all the feel goods.  But that changed in December of 2019 when One Million Moms took offense to some commercials that were airing on Hallmark, commercials that featuring a lesbian couple getting married. 

The one-woman force behind One Million Moms started a petition to criminalize and destroy the Hallmark Channel forever, unless they did what she demanded.  Hallmark pulled the commercials, but then after hearing from One Million Lesbian Moms decided that they had overreacted and put the commercials back on the air.  Then they decided to show that they were inclusive and signed two gay themed Hallmark Movies - mostly about some gay baker who accidentally delivers a cake to the wrong address and when the guy who opens the door says "how did you know it was my birthday and my mom always made me a honey-lavender cake every year until she died in my arms yesterday" and somehow his birthday is Christmas Eve, well the baker falls in love but then his evil...step sister?  Sure.  His evil step sister comes in to take over the bakery and almost succeeds, but happily the birthday guy is a business lawyer with two degrees from Yale and drives over her with his car but makes it look like an accident - oh wait, that's Lifetime channel but anyway everyone falls in love are you still reading this?

The warm and loving messages of the Hallmark Channel are open to all.  But are they really?  Are there some spaces that should only belong to some groups of people?  Is it right, fair, do you care - when is it ok to have a club that is "only for us" and when is it not.  Does throwing a sassy black friend into the mix somehow equal inclusion?

We don't solve any of these questions, but we have fun trying.  Bakers unite!  Everyone eats love.  (Everyone also buys cards so Hallmark, we are on to you, but also one of us is still watching you because damn you and your messages of love and hope!).