Liturgical Flow:: Fear as Loss of Control

One of my least favorite stereotypes is that only Type A personalities like control. Type A personalities might be more inclined to take charge, but they are not any more inclined than the rest of us to be in control. 

Most every person is trying to gain control of their circumstances through their tool of choice.

Some use passive-aggressive avoidance
Some use humor
Some use others-focused service
Some use effusive praise. 

The desire to be in control is deep within all of us. We live in a wild and unruly reality and attempting to tame it is vital to our survival. It is the desire to control that leads people to feed the hungry, clothe the naked and shelter those living outside. To surrender trying to control the world around us is to surrender to a passive fatalism that is equally problematic. 

The error is to believe that we've succeeded. When our desire to control convinces us that we have control, we stop showing up to parts of our own reality. We start eliminating information that demonstrates that we aren't in control and we start surrounding ourselves with people, places and things that support our illusion of control. 

All of this is ultimately in service of keeping our fear at arms length. Control feels like the antidote to fear and it works for long stretches of life. But what happens when events like broken relationships, natural disasters or grim doctors consultations occur? We are forced back into a wild and unruly reality we've convinced ourselves doesn't exist.