Let's talk about death and how to prepare ourselves and our advocates for the inevitable. This 20 minute glimpse is from the second Art of Departure of people talking about before, during, and after death.
To set the stage, first, I combine points of conversation among two dozen of us during the debut of The Art of Departure in April and add a story about my friend. Then I paraphrase comments by Erika, who attended The Art of Departure >Take Two earlier in June.
There is an ideal image of being surrounded by family at the moment of death, perhaps to calm our fear of dying alone. What if the person wants to be alone for the transition of death, yet is unable or hesitant to express that wish? In the first Art of Departure, we talked about a way to provide that option with your loved one who is nearing death. Once an hour, say, “I’m stepping out for ten minutes.” That reminds me of a time in the 1990s in British Columbia when I first learned the meaning of the word “advocate” in connection with how I had been supporting my elder friend. After she died, the nurse told me about what happened. “Her family visited on Sunday afternoon, and gathered around her bedside for an hour or so. After they left, she asked me for a hug and a glass of water. We hugged, and I left the room. When I returned with the water a few minutes later, she had died.”
Paraphrased from when Erika Crichton, MSW, LASW, spoke, one of the fifteen who attended The Art of Departure > Take Two on Sunday, June 4th:
I listened to the podcast of the first Art of Departure and found it so engaging and helpful, so I’m thrilled to be here. In my work as a Hospice Social Worker, working at an inpatient hospice facility, I have the honor of walking alongside people in their final weeks and days and helping their families sort through what those deaths might mean and sometimes what the patient is feeling about it. I’m influenced by all of the people I’ve witnessed going through that experience. It helps me be intentional about sharing what’s important to me with the people who I love who may be part of my support as I die. The people who I have encountered who seem to struggle most with dying are folks who haven’t reflected on their experiences with death before their own death is occurring. I have such an interest in this topic and find it fascinating, and at the same time, when I think about the Art of Departure, I also consider the joy of living. While death is inevitable, there’s much to be enjoyed, like pretty little birds chirping away in my garden. Thanks for letting me share.
Most recent: Dying to Meet You, Art of Departure Nine
Art of Departure Eight
Art of Departure Seven
Art of Departure Six
Art of Departure Five
Art of Departure Four
Art of Departure Three
Art of Departure Two
Art of Departure
Art of Departure Sampler
Thanks to Black Fedora with Sneaky Jazz for the music weaving through The On Purpose Podcast (Living on Purpose).
