How do you keep a conversation flowing with a stranger without talking about yourself?

The easy answer to this is “ask questions.” But about what? I’m pretty extroverted and can carry both sides of a conversation if I need to. But I wondered how other people keep a conversation flowing. Enter my wonderful panel:

 

First off, we learned that Kevin Wash has a game he plays (yes really!) to see how much he can learn about someone without telling them so much as his name. (Side note – I find the last thing people ask me is my name.)

 

His tip – start with an interesting question that even a stranger will answer and then follow up with a question related to their answer.

 

Inga Hebden agreed with asking a question and then listening to the answer with a caveat that some people give VERY short responses. Maybe they are shy or just not very comfortable. She then shared an example of trying to get to know someone who just didn’t want to share. In the end she wondered if it was even worth the effort to try to get to know the person if they didn’t want to be known.

 

Rick Alcantara added that in a business setting asking questions about what they are trying to accomplish and what their needs are is a good place to start. On the personal side some topics he suggested are the weather, sports, music, politics (if you are brave).

 

There is a downside to being really good at creating conversations – you get to the end of your scheduled time and you know all about them and they haven’t learned anything about you. Fine if you’re playing Kevin’s game. Not so good if you are networking. (That happened to me today in fact.)

 

How do you keep a conversation going with a stranger without making it all about you?

Connect with the panelists:

 

Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/

Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, their influence and act strategically.

 

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/  

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

 

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com