227 Release Weight and Body Shame; JJ Flizanes

JJ Flizanes is an author, coach and podcast host of The Fit 2 Love Podcast Show. JJ is vibrant and determined and she’s a great connector of people. She’s currently been working on her newest book, The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame. Today she talks about left brain, right brain, accountability and the topic of shame. 

Contact Info

• The Book: The Invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets to Release Weight and End Body Shame
• Website: www.fit2love.tv
• Podcast: Fit To Love on Itunes (Audio Only) 

The Conversation...

Bruce: JJ's currently been working on her newest book which she says is her best. It's the invisible Fitness Formula: 5 Secrets To Release Weight and Reduce Body Shame. Tell us more, JJ.

JJ: This book is a culmination of 20 years of work. It is the simplified version, the nuts and bolts, the proof and the science on all levels; science of body, science of mind, science of the spirit. science of biochemistry. It's so vast. Of the five Secrets, three of them are uber scientific and the other two are very spiritual, psychological and mindful. It 's all in the emotional piece.

It goes from one extreme to the other and that's that's who I am anyway. I'm the left and right brain person who is going to bring in both sides because both sides are important. I think a lot of times most of us have our strength in one of those sides. We're either very creative and expressive but we lack structure.

Then we have the structured people who are very frustrated and unsatisfied because they lack the outlet of creativity and emotional expression. I am an empowerment strategist and I combine those two and help people find the balance and use both sides in order to really live your life to the fullest.

Bruce: How can we help to integrate our left in our right brain? Tell us more details about how this can work for us on an individual basis.

JJ: It's important to understand and identify your strengths and weaknesses.  Then you're going to know how to ask for help or guidance and to know what pieces you need to implement so if you know that you're a creative free spirit; unrestricted, not linear kind-of-person ,then you're very right right brained.

So what that means is you need structure. It's like masculine or feminine .it's always said that the masculine is the riverbank and the feminine is river.

If you know that you are a creative person and you know that you have creative thoughts ideas and yet you can't implement, you're not very linear.

Structure is what you need and so finding systems, finding people to keep you accountable, finding methods that follow a plan, and again I'm going to really stress the keeping accountable part.

The people that are left-brained or accountable they will get their stuff done.

What they need help with is uncovering some of that emotional creativity. A lot of left brain people are very controlling they need to learn how to let go and how to be spontaneous and how to the expressive and to do things that don't color in the lines.

First identify which one you are. I know there are some tests online t o figure that out. Besides just testing your brain's left or right brain percentage, you can also take a strength finders test.

I really love the Strengthsfinder's 2.0 test. The basic one is about $19.99 for your top 5 strength and that will also give you information about what it is that you are really good at. It will also find what is it that you lack.

There's no shame in acknowledging who you are.

If you continue thinking you can do it all and that you're built to do it all, you stay frustrated for a really long time. You'll wonder why can't I do this?

You're not built that way. Can you learn? Sure, but most likely you just need support in adding those elements into your life but they're not your strength.

Bruce: What can we do to be more organized, more right brain?

JJ: I create accountability for anything I need help with. So let's say if you need to be organized, whether it be hiring somebody to come in with you. I mean it could literally be a friend to come sit with you and talk with you while you're cleaning. You designate on your calendar just like a personal t raining session or coaching session. For this hour this person will come or maybe talk to a person on Skype while you get your work done. You can have a friend or family member sit with you.

You can make it fun. My husband's clued into how to get me to clean the garage or my car or do yard work. He knows the right music to put on because I listen to very specific Latino kind of music.

When I hear that go on I know he wants me to be in a good mood. Sometimes there might be a cocktail involved and there's always music.

You create an environment which creates less resistance. But I would say the most important thing about that is accountability.

Bruce: Let's talk about body shame. Tell us about this?

JJ: I'm a big fan of the late, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's work which is non-violent communication. What he says is that should is the most violent word we use.

we have an idea of shoulding. You have this idea that, I should be able to do all these things. I've done the same thing, I have a good capacity of a left and right brain. I learn very quickly. There are many things that I can learn to do so I just do whatever.

What I've learned is, even if you're really good at a lot of things and you can do all those things, it becomes a life lesson of, is this really the best use of your time. I would say for a lot of us that's just a life path.

You do all those things because you think you should or because you can and then you see the results and you say, alright it's working and if it's working then you keep doing it but if you spend all this time and you're frustrated and your brain hurts and you feel stressed out, then it's not working. Ev entually you're going to say, I can let this go and I can hire someone else to do it.

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