Not Just a Shooter 1.0: Don’t Fight With People Named Bloodsport

2018-04-12

Shout-out to JR for knowing exactly how to celebrate a title: shirtless with a bottle of Hennie. We’re going to be launching some new podcasts this offseason based on the interests of our staffers. This one is hosted by Ace Anbender and Alex Cook and will cover the NBA. If you’d like to be its exclusive sponsor, hit me up! ----------------------------- 1st Quarter: The East starts at 1:00 Not great Cavs—LeBron’s having a good season but not his ...

Shout-out to JR for knowing exactly how to celebrate a title: shirtless with a bottle of Hennie.

We’re going to be launching some new podcasts this offseason based on the interests of our staffers. This one is hosted by Ace Anbender and Alex Cook and will cover the NBA. If you’d like to be its exclusive sponsor, hit me up!

-----------------------------

1st Quarter: The East

starts at 1:00

Not great Cavs—LeBron’s having a good season but not his teammates (not even counting Kardashian-related things). He’s got to drag this team on his own now—next best player is Love. Lakers trade worked out for nobody. Raptors are a great regular season team with the best bench in the league, but Kyle Lowry vs playoff defense aint the same thing. Fred VanVleet most inexplicably good player in the NBA. Boston is 2nd seed but bleeding. Philadelphia: trust the process, don’t trust Embiid’s broken face, Ben Simmons is going to be great after the most SEC college career ever, the Fultz story is pretty crazy. Giannis Antetokounmpo is the most interesting players we’ve ever seen, Bucks defense has the Illinois problem. Heat are the island of misfit toys.

2nd Quarter: The West

starts at 39:43

Houston has built an excellent team. Fan favorite by default because Golden State is penciled in for the next 26 championships—they took the foot off the gas this year. Blaze are interesting but unless Lillard and McCollum go off they’re not deep enough to go deep. Drafting Kennard before Donavan Mitchell is gobbluthhugemistake.gif. Weirdly non Spur-like San Antonio team. Bryn Forbes has had a better NBA career than Denzel Valentine. Too bad what happened to Boogie even though it makes the Pelicans a more open team. Timberwolves are the West’s Sixers. Predictions.

3rd Quarter: Wolverines in the NBA

starts at 1:21:02

Jamal Crawford (Timberwolves) still in the league despite being Seth’s age. Epke Udoh (Jazz), Turkish Legend, is back in the NBA and playing significant minutes for a playoff team now that the NBA has caught up to his rim and out game. Tim Hardaway Jr. (Knicks) deal might actually be worth it except he’s having a THJ sophomore year from beyond the arc. The late shots these days are going to Trey Burke (also Knicks), who used his time in the G league to become a guy who puts up 42, a lot of that by exploiting the fact that the NBA doesn’t guard the midrange jumper anymore. Really efficient with Beasley now. GRIII (Pacers) was hurt most of this year, won NBA dunk competition last year, Indiana getting him up to speed for the playoffs. DJ Wilson(Bucks) played in the G League this year. Derrick Walton (Heat) signed a two-way contract, so spends time between Miami and Sioux Falls, [Seth has to Google this], SD, can carve out a role as a backup PG, good numbers in Sioux Falls. Expect Moe Wagner to be in this segment next year, and Poole sooner, and this year’s class will be all over the NBA eventually.

4th Quarter: The Pistons Segment

starts at 1:42:20

Most depressing franchise to follow right now. Trying to talk yourself into “if Reggie, Blake and Andre are all healthy at the same time,” gets you into a second round series before one gets hurt again. At best this core can get a Grizzlies 50-win era. Ticket prices are so ridiculous for a taxpayer-funded arena that it’s no surprise the new building is empty. SVG is a good coach, not a good GM. So…free agent fandom? Knicks have the players we want to root for but 1) the owner and 2) Knicks/Yankees fans. Caris Levert (Nets) is coming off the bench for 26 minutes a game and has a role as an either wing for a long NBA career. Stauskas bouncing around after the deep misfortune of being drafted by San Antonio when they still had Boogie (DeMarcus Cousins), then went to the Sixers, then Nets, but he was thrown in and they didn’t really want him.

---------------------------------

MUSIC