When We Don’t Want to Forgive

Have you ever dragged your feet on forgiving someone because you thought they deserved to suffer? Or were you so hurt by their words or actions that you felt they deserved punishment? Human nature is painful like that. We don’t like people to hurt us, but we’ll cancel that rule when we’re hurting someone in revenge. We’re not the first to struggle with the issue of not wanting to forgive. Listen to this passage from Matthew 18:21-22:

"Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

I love the realness of Peter. Obviously, someone had done him wrong enough times that Peter was starting to keep track! Oh no, this brother is up to number six. Let me go and ask Jesus if I have to go beyond seven because I’ve had enough of this. I sure am grateful that God doesn’t have a rule of “seven strikes and you’re out.” We’d all be disqualified before we graduate from kindergarten!

Has someone done or said something that offended you to a point where you don’t feel like forgiving them? This is a risky position. It’s human to want to delay a pardon, but it’s not biblical. It’s carnal.

Our human nature leans toward behaviors and solutions that are the opposite of God’s Word. We have to be on guard for this hazard, because we can deceive ourselves into believing that everyone else has issues but we’re the only clean ones. Failure to forgive someone is rooted in this type of mistaken thinking.

Let’s consider four things that are side effects of failing to grant forgiveness, and how we can avoid the consequences of choosing the wrong course.

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