We set standards for the kind of person we expect ourselves to be. When we feel that we haven’t done everything possible to meet those standards, we can find guilt settling in and making a home for itself deep in our chests.
But we have to ask ourselves: Who sets those standards? Where do they come from? And most importantly: Do they matter?
Are we just judging ourselves based on someone else’s expectations? Sometimes other people’s expectations are nonsense. (Dare I say most times?)...
We set standards for the kind of person we expect ourselves to be. When we feel that we haven’t done everything possible to meet those standards, we can find guilt settling in and making a home for itself deep in our chests.
But we have to ask ourselves: Who sets those standards? Where do they come from? And most importantly: Do they matter?
Are we just judging ourselves based on someone else’s expectations? Sometimes other people’s expectations are nonsense. (Dare I say most times?)
Joining the discussion are author, book coach and speaker Doreen McGettigan; Dr. Bob Choat, who works with executives on mental transformations, and Christopher Jerjian, who has worked in commercial real estate for 30 years and focuses on creating spaces for small businesses.
Some takeaway quotes:“At first I was trying to over excel…and everyone was saying, ‘No, it’s OK.’ And that was making me feel even guiltier because I felt like I was making everybody work harder.” (Doreen McGettigan)
“As humans, we need to feel like we’re in control all the time. We plan out lives and if things don’t work out, it makes us feel bad. ‘I thought I should have done this but something happened.’ (Dr. Bob Choat)
"For me, the biggest form of guilt is when someone asks for help and for different reasons you’re not able to give it. I’ll ask myself, ‘Could I have done something more?’ Sometimes the answer is, ‘Yes, you’re being selfish,’ and sometimes the answer is no.” (Christopher Jerjian)
What does it mean to you to "feel" guilty?
Connect with the panelists:
Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/
Doreen McGettigan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/doreen-mcgettigan-b4537a26/
Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/
Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/
Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/
#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com
#guilt #shame
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