You know where I’d hate to find a chicken bone? In my box of Fruity Pebbles! This week, Canada is setting up moon laws, so going forward the earth is going to have to say “Ope! Sorry, gonna have to squeeze right past ya!” Every orbit. A man gives himself diarrhea, but lots of people eat at Applebees. A woman was found to be alive at her own funeral, but don’t worry, she died later. They found another barrel in Lake Mead, but have they found out why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Finally, a MAGAsshole “accidentally” uploaded porn to her campaign website, but like, how? We’ve missed you, so welcome back to The Hour.