What does it seem like?

 

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Things are not always what they may seem to be. Take for example the topic of child abuse… its obvious that it would be men who abuse children most, they typically abuse sons and they use their fists or hands. But the truth is surprising, yes while men are abusive and most children fatalities due to abuse are at the hands of men… it is women who abuse children more… they have more time with their kids. They may use their hand but most likely they will use whatever is at hand- a hairbrush, a spoon a shoe or belt or even purse.

But again things are not always as they seem. You would imagine that physical abuse at the hands of your parents would have to be the worst thing a child could grow up with… But actually it is mental and emotional abuse that is worse. There is a great chance that a child at school will show signs of physical abuse, bruising, burns, flinching etc… But emotional abuse may actually be the hardest to understand or even detect… 

But again things are not always as they seem. A child may in fact get out of their house by age 18… free from physical and emotional abuse, and never deal with it again. But here is the real issue… those abused typically marry abusers… and those who don’t are still stuck with an abuser the rest of their life unless dealt with. 

What do I mean? The fact is that a person who is abused emotionally has learned the traits of the abuser so well that they are engrained in their psyche and thought process. One of my favorite stories is from a Bernie Seigel book called faith hope and healing is about a young woman who gets a call from her mother. Her mother berates her for never calling and talking to her, says what kind of daughter are you, you should try harder, do better etc… The mother takes a deep breath and says “don’t you at least miss hearing my voice?”

The daughter explodes… “miss hearing your voice? I hear it a hundred times every day in my head”. You don’t work hard enough, you don’t smile enough, You should take better care of yourself, you need to eat better, don’t slouch, don’t pick your teeth, don’t scrunch your face, be nice to your brother he is the one in the family who is the smart one….

 

So if I ask who your number one abuser is… I would guess its you. Your own mind and or the voices still stuck up in your mind. 

Look lets be completely fair, some of you have voices in your head that tell you things are great, you are awesome and with just a little bit more life will be great. 

So for now lets assume that abuse is not just the negative but anything that is outside of Gods reality and his word. 

How does one gain the mind of Christ? And it is trickier than you might think… 

Listen to Proverbs 23:7

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. – Proverbs 23:7(KJV)

 

What a unique insight into a mans heart. On the outside life is great, eat, drink and be merry… but his thoughts are what he weighs his life value on. Oh, I look happy but my heart tells me otherwise.

 

Who stole your heart? What I mean by that is who put those words in your heart that speak to your mind and alter your life?

 

To gain the mind of Christ one must first forgive the people who have spoken words over you that contradict scripture.

Secondly you must read Gods word so that you may know exactly what he does think of you (spoiler alert, he is crazy about you) and finally you will start to see your actions and your mind line up to the word of God. That is such a beautiful place to be. 

 

I read once years ago that we lie not according to what we think about ourselves, and we don’t live according to what others think about us… but rather we live according to what we THINK others think about us. There is a lot of validity to that… but honestly, we can actually KNOW what God thinks of us if we simply take time to read his word and speak to him daily.