(Ep. 160): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - June 2021

Yo June! On this latest edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything from Woody Allen to Woody from Toy Story...from Henry Golding to Henry Cavill...from Willy Wonka to Big Willy Smith. All that, several Real American jibes at the classic GI Joe animated series and underhanded jokes at Steven Seagal's expense on episode 160 of the Simplistic Reviews podcast.

AND...If you want to sing along to the opening song, here are DJ's alternative lyrics to the G.I. Joe theme:

 

DJ's Alternative Lyrics To The G.I. Joe Theme Song

Crashing through the skies,

comes a fearful cry.

Cobra! x2

 

(CHORUS OVERLAPPING)

Cobra! x2

 

Armies Of the night,

Evil taking flight.

Cobra! x2

 

(CHORUS OVERLAPPING)

Cobra!

Ow! My throat!

 

Nowhere to run,

Nowhere to hide!

Panic spreading far and wide,

Who can turn the tide?

 

(CHORUS)

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

G.I. Joe is there!

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

They cause their share of damage, to be fair!

Fighting for freedom wherever there's trouble,

And causing mayhem!

We put alarming faith in them!

 

Can the world oppose,

Deadliest of foes.

Cobra! x2

 

(CHORUS OVERLAPPING)

I'm coughing blood!

This really hurts!

 

Joes will risk it all,

To end the evil call of,

Cobra! x2

 

(CHORUS OVERLAPPING WITH COUGH)

 

They never give up,

They never say die.

Walking tall with banners high,

They sound the battle cry!

 

(ALPINE OVERLAPPING)

Leroy Jenkins!

 

(CHORUS)

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

G.I. Joe resists!

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

Your government's funding this!

Fighting for freedom wherever there's trouble,

Over land and sea and air!

They're why we cut your Medicare!

 

(NARRATOR)

G.I. Joe is the code name for American's daring, highly trained special mission force. Even though they consist of half-dressed karate experts, Native Americans with attack eagles, and guys really committed to sports motifs. Their purpose? To defend us from Cobra. A ruthless terrorist organization with really good branding. I mean, I wouldn't wear an al Qaeda t-shirt, but I'd rock the hell out of that Cobra logo.

 

(CHORUS)

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

Although many are foreign!

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

Seriously, check their origins!

Fighting for freedom wherever there's trouble,

They're one hell of a team!

A jingoistic wet dream!

 

(COBRA COMMANDER OVERLAPPING)

Cobra! I can't see shit in this goddamn mask!

 

(CHORUS)

G.I. Joe!

A real American hero,

One guy has a talking bird!

G.I. Joe!