347 - Torah Study (Part-5)

Human nature is to appreciate things that we understand to have value and be important, much more than things we are just told to believe are important, but are sometimes difficult to relate to and difficult to see their true value and importance. After one performs the tremendous mitzvah of visiting a sick person, and the sick person thereafter tells you, “you just made my day, I didn't feel like living on anymore, but since you came, you put such a deep smile on my face, that you've given me a new drive for life.” After performing such a mitzvah, one usually feels quite accomplished and good about themselves because we've done something truly meaningful. Whereas, when one listens to a shiur, or one sits down to learn a piece of Torah, many times one does not feel that same sense of accomplishment. And again, the reason for that is because we don't see the value of our Torah learning. We are supposed to believe, to have emunah, that our Torah learning is so vitally important, to the point that the Mishnah tells us the value of Torah learning equals the value of all 613 mitzvahs put together.

One of the things that helps us to build our emunah is when we see different Torah sources that outline to us what exactly Hashem's perspective is. The Gemara tells us that when a person is undergoing some form of suffering, the first mode of response should be to introspect and think about if there has been something perhaps that we have done wrong, that maybe because of that, Hashem is sending us a reminder to correct our ways. The Gemara then continues and says, if a person did introspect and didn't find anything in particular that they feel Hashem might be communicating to them about, to try to mend their ways in that particular area, the next step is to attribute the reason for Hashem sending us this suffering because of the sin of bittul Torah, of wasting time and not learning Torah when we could have.

The sin of bittul Torah is clearly placed very high on the scale of Hashem's perspective of what is important to the point that the Gemara is teaching us: if you don't see any other particular area for Hashem talking to you, it is probably because we have not been as careful as we could with the mitzvah of learning Torah. The Gemara elsewhere also tells us that one of the first questions we will be asked when we meet our Creator after 120 years is, did you set aside time for Torah learning? This passage reveals to us a fundamental concept of how Hashem's perspective works. When we meet our Creator one day, He will not ask us, why weren't you the greatest sage of the generation? However, He will ask us, did you set aside time to learn Torah to your maximum capacity? Both in quantity and quality, we will be asked if we made our maximum effort.

So, if somebody has not had the privilege to have many years of Torah background to be able to learn Torah independently, of course one is not then expected to learn passages in Torah which one needs to be an independent learner for. And when one meets Hashem after 120 years, that will not be part of the equation. And in the same way, someone whose path to life is that Hashem has given them numerous hours a day available to learn Torah, when they meet their Creator one day, their question will be based on how many hours were available to them. But someone who had a very minimal amount of time available and really made their maximum effort to learn Torah every day, even if it's one passage and that's all they were able to achieve, but that was their maximum, they will receive a hundred percent on their score on this question. Torah learning is one of the cornerstones of Judaism. It is not about how much we learn or how successful we are being in what other people might define as success. Hashem's true question is going to be, did you do your best?