112. The Resistant Client Series: Repetitively Reflecting Their Attachment Dilemma

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.

This "Push the Leading Edge" podcast episode explores the concept of the "Attachment Dilemma" in therapy, focusing on how therapists can effectively work with resistant clients. Hosts Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Reyna provide insights, personal stories, and practical techniques for understanding and navigating client resistance using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) principles.

Conversation Outline:
1. Introduction
- Upcoming EFT training events
- Appreciation for EFT community leaders and volunteers

2. Attachment Dilemma Concept
- Defining resistance in therapy
- Metaphors: Bomb-sniffing dog, technology troubleshooting
- Core idea: Clients are stuck between connection longing and protection strategies

3. Therapeutic Approach
- Slow down the therapeutic process
- Validate client's experience
- Recognize there are "no good moves" in their current cycle
- Demonstrate understanding of their stuck position

4. Demonstration Techniques
- Exploring pursuer and withdrawer attachment patterns
- Repetitive validation of the client's experience
- Focusing on the emotional experience, not problem-solving

5. Key Takeaways
- Trust the therapeutic process
- Repeat understanding to help client's nervous system feel seen
- Aim to help clients recognize their cyclical patterns

The episode provides a deep dive into compassionate, nuanced therapeutic intervention for challenging client situations.

To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause.

We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.

 Stay connected with us:

• Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge
• Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website
• James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com
• George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com

If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV).

Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

SV Focus Lab-https://www.svfocuslab.com/

Training Opportunities with James. 

• Externship in Bend, Oregon - https://www.counseloregon.com/coeft/externship
• Core Skills in Hourston - https://hceft.org/events/
• Core Skills in Boulder Colorado - https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado

Training Opportunities with Ryan. 

• Externship in Indiana - https://www.indyeft.com/general-7
• Externship in Northwest Arkansas - https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship