208: Social Sustainability with Professor Ryan Fehr | Cultivating Solitude that Energizes Us

Ryan Fehr is a business professor at the University of Washington, where he teaches courses on leadership and personal change. His research focuses on helping people build more joyful and energizing relationships, with a particular interest in gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness. His work has been featured in news outlets such as the New York Times and Wall Street Journal.

His first book, focused on helping people build the skills they need for joyful, energizing relationships, is scheduled for publication in the Fall.

In this episode we discuss the following:

• As Ryan said, it’s okay to feel burned out by other people sometimes: 72% of parents say they're constantly stressed, 75% said they're too busy to enjoy their lives, and when workers quit, 57% say it's because their relationships are too much.
• Each of us has a different set point for how much alone time we need, so we should be thoughtful about how to cultivate solitude that energizes us.
• For Ryan, cultivating solitude that energizes him means going to movies, restaurants, or even new cities alone. At his daughter’s elementary school, that meant providing a room for students to take a break from the dance and watch a movie.
• Going to networking events can be overwhelming for some people. So a strategy Ryan recommends is to just try to have one meaningful conversation.