When the Evening Drift Brings Him to Me (for Dad)

"I see him standing with the skies,

grafted into the clouds,

the breeze resting in his hair,

a black & white etching to life.

 

I gently come behind him,

put an arm around his shoulders,

as his drift leans into me,

he looks at me soft, soft."

 

I have often stood at the window with my dad, as evenings have drifted in. We've not always spoken much, but after all our years, we are just grateful to have the time we have together.

 

Whilst growing up, he was the person to whom I turned to for every question. For me, he could never have a wrong answer. My mum was my compass, but my dad was my guide. In a strange way, without expressing it, without saying anything explicitly, he became my embodiment of truths and life's fulfillments.

 

I doubt he's ever said "I love you, son," to me. It would have felt, and would still feel, awkward. But the truth of those words didn't require their spelling out.

 

It was there in his patience for me, his gentleness to me, his waiting for me, his giving his hand to me.

 

My mum, on the other hand, was always in search of the 'truth' and 'meaning' of things. Swinging from one guru to another, one religious text to another, her quest was unquenchable. I loved her stories of the journey. And I realized much before she did (if she did at all!), that it was the journey which had meaning for her, not the end.

 

In our search for the fount and meaning of life, we are often waylaid by those who complicate truths. When truly, all truths of life are found in just two things -  gratitude and presence.

 

We can be masters of life and love, if we can be masters of the moment. Embodied in that truth is the script of our entire life. 

 

And I see my dad saying 'I love you' to life with every breath.

 

If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which are a tribute to our mum and dad - 

• Mother's Rambling Lessons on Life Imparted in Morning Walks in my Childhood
• My Mother's Lines
• Tea-a-Tete with Mum & Dad

Find other magical things, like a lovely free chapbook of poems, and other resources here.

 

Uncut Poetry has started a new Podcast called Red River Sessions (on Spotify, iTunes, Pocket Casts, etc), where we will talk to published poets, about their poetry, their craft and what haunts them. It is brought to you by Red River, which is the premier independent publisher of poetry books, and Uncut Poetry. 

 

I am Sunil Bhandari.

 

I am a poet based out of India. My book of poetry 'Of Love and Other Abandonments' was an Amazon bestseller. My second book is 'Of Journeys & Other Ways to Get Lost'. Both are available on Amazon.

Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com

 

The details of the music used in this episode are as follows -

Elysium by  Alexander Nakarada

Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/8451-elysium

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license